Friday, November 30, 2007

Some observations...

Just some things that I feel like discussing with the masses:

* "Ask your Doctor if (insert drug here) is right for you." Really?! Because I thought the overpaid person who has kept me waiting for 45 minutes in a gown while they speak to sexy pharmaceutical reps with free food should tell me what is right for me on his or her own. I thought you came in with symptoms and the doctor in all his or her years of education and experience should tell me what is wrong and then prescribe accordingly. I do not understand advertising drugs. I mean, I like the attitude that Smiling Bob in the Enzyte commercials for ED. I don't know what ED entails, but I will go ahead and waste the two minutes I get of facetime with my doc to ask if Enzyte is right for me.

* Ikea is now charging .05 a bag if you want to actually bag the things you buy. Okay, fine. Yay for the environment and that isn't expensive or anything. But Ikea of all places?! Ikea publishes a bajillion catalogs every year and shoves them in every newspaper and mails them out as well. They then leave a pile of those tree chips at their door where people who probably already got it one of the other two ways pick another copy up. Splendid. Though their website has improved as far as things to view on the website, far as I can see I cannot find the full catalog. If you really care about the environment, put the catalog online and stop printing all those things up. I won't even start about the practically disposable nature of their bookshelves and other particle board goodness...

* other than that, nothing odd to point out about the universe. Christmas shopping is going well, I have a tree up but I can't decide it I want some sort of garland-y option so I am at a standstill. This weekend is Jim's birthday, so I'm excited to see Andrea and the crew. Have a great weekend...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Back to the Superficial!!! Give thanks...

Because you know that's where I like to be...just the easy peasy superficial which is actually the best part of life.

Thanksgiving is this week!!!! I am so excited to be pigging out, I love the fact that every food can be covered in cream and cheese and be made into a casserole. I love the macaroni and cheese that my mom has been making since I was a little kid. I am sad that we never get to go see our Louisiana family on Thankgiving anymore, but I love seeing Chad and Andrea instead. I prefer Charlie Brown Thanksgiving over Charlie Brown Christmas. I love that the sun goes down on Thanksgiving and the colors of the world are brown and orange and when the sun comes up on Friday morning the only colors anyone sees is red and green. Heck, I already set the TiVo for Mickey's Christmas Carol (obviously, Mickey Mouse's take on the Dickens tale). If I play my cards right (ha ha, pun), I will have all my Christmas cards out Friday morning. Other things I am looking forward to this week: a little more alone time with my sweet kiddo, seeing Jason again, maybe seeing Dad, def eating and playing with Mom, Jim, Andrea and Chad (and Mom and Jim's gigantic new TV, hello Thanksgiving Day parade!), Jalepeno Sausage Cheese bread in Hillje, another Thanksgiving meal with Jason's parents and grandmother and more games, finishing a book and maybe starting another, playing with Photoshop when I have no internet this weekend, what else?

Then I can start thinking about what I love about the Christmas season. Don't get me wrong, I think buying gifts for grown ass adults who are capable of buying their own gifts is insane, but that doesn't mean the whole deal is lost on me. There's always Claymation Christmas, watching Dylan figure it all out, ghetto mall Santas and neighborhoods with Christmas lights. Everyone have a great Thanksgiving!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Overexposed...

** Thanks for all the emails and pm's of support I am getting on this. I feel like I am beating a dead horse here, so hopefully I can get back to superficial chat after this! **

I'd be lying if I said being all over the online community didn't bring me some sort of joy and new relationships. I loved meeting all the BYOM girls in Chicago last weekend (and I plan to see them all again, that's definite). I love that Rita is in our life just because she and Heather connected on KNK (way before I thought it was okay to meet internet people in person, but a lot has happened since then for me to think it was okay. Like Rita. Like my mom meeting and marrying Jim. And so on.)

That said, I am starting to feel like maybe putting myself out there is exposing more than I want to. I started on KNK and that was simple. Then I joined several DT's and am involved in those communities. A couple things happened in the last weeks that made me rethink it all...

ScrapFaith... I know what I signed up for with that and I convinced myself I was supposed to do it because everything fell into place the way it did. I have tougher skin than many and I don't know how hard Emilie would have had to search to find another agnostic or, gasp, an athiest. So I am the agnostic and it would seem that since I didn't pick a religion to attach myself to, I am thus unattached and have a void that needs to be filled. I've debated this, talked to others and decided that this needs to be said for me to be true to myself (even if I am already so over talking about this!):

I have no void and I did not join that team to find some answer. I have my answer and I am only out there representing my experience because no one else is. It has always seemed like the scrapbooking industry heavily leans towards Christianity, with an occassional nod to our Jewish friends with Hannukah or Rosh Hashana. No one has been out there saying, "Yeah I don't know" and that was the role it seems I am to play. Please don't think I mean "Yeah I don't know, please lead me to the way" because that isn't it. I think that the truths of the universe are way beyond the human mind and we can only grasp as much as we can. I mean, I can hardly handle college level Calculus and yet all the truths of the universe are supposedly within my reach within some four walls? Personally, I can't commit to that. I am proud to say that I don't have all the answers, but I do have some. The answers I have I share with billions of other people of hundreds of faith. I think you have to do your best to be the best human you can, because really that is all you can do. I think you have to be a good person and live an honest lifestyle. I think you should do good and give of yourself. I will never be a Christian because I simply cannot commit to certain vital principles of that faith, and that's okay. Do I believe in God? That's tricky. Cognitively I know it is so naive to believe that whatever complex being created DNA, amoebas, cancer, peace, feces, sunshine and terrestrial life is sitting around, as Bill Maher puts it oh-so-eloquently "To act like my daddy in the sky" and listen to my hopes and prayers, but it feels good so I do it. I don't pray daily but I will bust out the emergency god when someone is sick or when I am scared or when I simply need strength and hope and that is okay because I say it is. God or no god, your call. What you think is what you think and it is just as okay too. It's all good as long as you're trying to be good...

Anyone who wandered over from ScrapFaith or is itching to show me a way...Please do not contact me to make a case for your answer or your faith. I am genuinely happy that you have found something that makes you content and fulfilled, but this is not up for debate. That site is there to show that women of whatever spiritual life can coexist, respect each other and see the similarities that exist for us all and I am not going to make myself feel like I need to listen to the arguments of others just because my position is so different from everyone else's. You simply can't respect my standing and then follow up with a "but consider this..." because it makes your show of respect an empty gesture. I say this with love and because I need to stand up for myself.

That was the heavy stuff, the personal stuff that has made me want to shut my laptop and my mouth. The other stuff that made me rethink my online involvement... superficial drama. I get sucked into it and it makes me feel ick. I wish I had never heard the words "HOF gate" or "See you on the River" because of how awful I started to see other people and myself. I dabbled in some drama on another board on behalf of a bestie and found myself trying to set someone straight who, while very much needing to be set straight by someone, probably didn't need it from a total stranger like me. That person led several of us to a couple boards which are capable of manifesting the most bitter hatred between strangers. I feel like I've ruined it all for myself, I liked it when I thought we were all there to love and support each other and I need to pretend that no world exists outside of BYOM, SO, AC Bailey, RSC and Scrapfaith. I've made a conscious decision to go back to that place.

Next debate: How do I separate scrapbooking my life and scrapbooking being my life? I am working on less scrapping, less MB drama and more reading (and when I've read enough, more writing). It feels like this must have been a predictable SAHM pitfall, creating a person other than "Dylan's Mom" by trying to be Ms. Scrappin-all-over-the-frickin Place, but I should focus on balance and all that goodness. Tune in to hear how that goes, but I will be finishing my first book since making that decision (Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann) in the next day and that already feels sadly momentous...

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Happy Halloween!!

Monkeying around worked out slightly better than last year's dragon and infinetly more than the lion the first year, but only because Dylan was a little more impressed by the whole deal this year. I won't say that he "got it" but he enjoyed parts of his costume, ate candy and cried on the way home. I made caramel apples like a good housewife, despite the fact that Dylan did not nap, and it would seem, is working naps out of his schedule. Funny, the rate at which his naps decrease moves at the exact same rate as my desire to go get a job. Half-kidding. Anyways, here's the magic...

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2007-10-31 Halloweening 092

If you have too much time on your hands, feel free to check out the huge Flickr upload... http://flickr.com/photos/qcumberland/sets/72157602822258550/