Checking in...

and with nothing much to say. Stuff we've done lately:

- The Dexter Season Premiere promotion: I think they chose like 16 cities and filled their fountains with faux blood. I went to the wrong fountain at first, but then the family went to the right one. If you haven't watched Dexter, you are truly missing out. Season 1 is out on DVD and while you are catching up on Showtime goodness, check out Season 1 and 2 of Weeds, also awesome.


- Going big boy: Posted these on Simply Obsessed, but we did put together Dylan's big boy bed and he has been a pro at sleeping in it. He doesn't realize he can get out of it himself in the morning, so he just yells "Hello? Mama? Dada? Helloooo?" until someone comes



- Preparing for autumn: Went to the pumpkin patch this weekend with Mary, Richard and Will and shooed in the fall season by posing for pics in the pumpkins and taking a hayride. My favorite is the last one because while Dylan is on a pumpkin, you can see the Christmas season sneaking up behind him, both figuratively and literally.




And finally, to all the ridiculous people who are organizing to burn issues of CK - you are lame. You are sad and jealous and if you were named HOF tomorrow, you would be singing a different tune. What is saddest is that all those stereotypes of ridiculous, crazy women are being fulfilled on MB's all over right now. I've always liked this craft because the focus was on the good things in life and on building relationships of fun and support with other women, and what has come out of that whole debacle is the complete opposite of that. Please stop. If you entered the HOF contest, I understand your frustration and you are given a two minute pass to complain. And the two minutes are up...

Rained out

All the anticipation over the craft fair and I know everyone wants to know how it went...let's just say the whole thing was a bust, but I say that with wet hair and a smile. Started at 11 and it was nasty overcast, but the hope was that the weather would pick up and the people would show...that didn't get a chance to happen. Around 1:30 or 2 it started thundering, but it was sort of a hostage situation to try and get out since cars weren't allowed in the area. At some point, the heavens let loose and it poured insanely. We tried to get everything under the tent, and under tables but it was flooding and nuts. I suspect quite a bit of my stuff was ruined since paper + water = pulp, but that's the way it goes sometimes. Here are some pics from the day -- Shana's bibs and burp cloths were absolutely amazing. We're bringing all the surviving stuff to a mama craft fair at the end of the month, and that should be a lot more promising (no fee and indoors!) I made just enough to cover my half of the booth and a couple of bottles of water, so that's that!





That last one isn't New Orleans post-Katrina, that's this afternoon in the Heights!!!

Have to vs. Want to

Yup, obligations have taken over my life and that sucks. It is one of the pitfalls of the holiday season, doing things because you have to instead of doing things because you want to and sometimes it straight up sucks the joy out of activities. This weekend it is the craftfair with Shana. I don't know why I agreed to it except that the prospect of making money off of this craft seemed nice. Now I would settle for my sanity. I have been obssessed with producing volume and with a toddler attached to me 24-7, it hasn't really happened. I am irritated because I have a sneaking suspicion that my altered clocks no longer run, that people aren't even going to want this crap and that I just can't seem to get it all done. Doesn't help that Dylan woke up about five times last night, keeping me up between 1-3 (I thought Jason magically slept through this but he said he dealt with it before he went to sleep) and I could break at a moment's notice. Karen is taking Dylan this afternoon so that might help me out, but I could possibly be too far off the deepend to help at this point. Ugh to the infinite power.

As a superficial happy ending to this, here's my 12 on the 12th, which was actually 12 on the 19th because that's when I finally did it and I haven't shared it because it was in this issue of RSC. Clearly it was a really exciting day, but it is what it is...this also means I've updated my scrap blog at http://brandyproductionsscrap.blogspot.com/ if you want to make sure you are caught up on anything I've made in the last couple months. Between all the teams, a lot slips through the cracks...

Tag, sucker.

First I will share three awesome pics because I love them:
That's my stepaunt's son (my step cousin?) Max and he is the cutest kid, for reals.

Picking on Dylan and letting me know he knows what he is doing and thinks it is hilarious

Dylan sitting down with a couple at the park and talking like they are old friends catching up. That kid has never met a stranger!

Now, bring the pain! I whine and complain every time I have to do one of these things, but still I have to do them. I also refuse to tag, so if you want to do this, go for it. Me, I am huffing and posting. Thanks to Kelly and Bre for tagging me on this (and who knows else, I am still catching up on everyone's blogs).

The rules...You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.) When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post and then choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't' forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

Bre did Marie, I will do it and Heather should. What's up with everyone born in the late seventies scoring that middle name? It isn't very cool, though I chose it over my maiden name for my drivers license when I got married (because Politz, really?) Anyways, a salute to the seventies and me all at the same time:

Mother - it is a job and a joy, though not necessarily at the same time all the time. Dylan is pretty much the coolest kid ever and I get to claim at least 50% of his DNA
Assertive - I know what I think and I stand by it. I know what I want and I go for it. I stand up for others and I don't back down.
Responsible - I am the one who is responsible to a fault, though I've relaxed a lot in the last couple years. I don't like debt and I live within my means.
Idea driven - My soul is driven by the fact that I have hope in the idea that one day people will accept each other and stop judging each other on such arbitrary things like sexual preference, religion, race, blah blah blah. I love the idea that one day Dylan can do whatever he wants with his life. Rock star or rocket scientist, his world is open. I also am comforted by the idea that my world is still open too.
Educated - I love school. If I could get paid to go, it is where you can find me. It makes me feel good to know a lot and to challenge my mind to go to higher levels. Unfortunately, because I am responsible, I hate to rack up student loans so I am not going back...quite yet. So for now, I settle for TV, books and magazines.

With a different name, I might have been able to talk about how funny and witty I am, but I guess that is for another tagging and another posting...

and then I got this from Krystn's:
Put an X by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones
you have not, and send it to all of your friends (including me.)

This is for your entire life:
(X) Smoked a cigarette
(X) Drank so much you threw up.
(X) Crashed in a friend's car.
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Been in love
(X) Been dumped
( )Been laid off/fired
(X) Quit your job
(X) Been in a fist fight
(X) Sneaked out of your parent's house
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Gone on a blind date
(X) Lied to a friend
( ) Skipped an entire semester
(X) Seen someone die
( )Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington , DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like dying
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X ) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang karaoke
(X)Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose And laughed
more after that
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Made a snow angel
( ) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about.
(X) Blown Bubbles
(X) Made a bonfire on the beach/campground
( ) Crashed a party
(X) Gone roller skating
(X) Gone ice skating

I have some explaining to do...

...at least it feels that way. I joined the team at ScrapFaith, a multi faith blog dedicated to scrapping one's spiritual journey. The team consists of Emilie Ahern Mormon, Heidi Sonboul Mormon, Stacey George Mennonite, Laura Solomon Jewish, Danielle Holsapple Non-Denominational Christian, Deborah Mahnken Anglican, Lizzy Wurmann Jewish, Heather Keller Lutheran, Nancy Misiewicz Methodist and me as an agnostic. Pretty cool list of chicks and I am honored to be among them. The first challenge goes out today, so check them out at http://scrapfaith.blogspot.com/

I am also quite a bit nervous. It is such a step out for me to come out in the scrapbooking world and all the sites I visit as an agnostic. I am afraid of what people will think, afraid people will judge me to be morally bankrupt and banished to the southern regions of hell =) (kidding, a little). What it boils down to is that I think people will focus on the differences between myself and others as opposed to the similarities (of which I promise there are more). I only do it because it is lonely to stand alone and I am hoping others will be different and relate and find comfort in my journey.

What is my belief? Heather and I were talking the other day about this and she was telling me about how a friend of hers who is hugely devout to her faith admitted that there are beliefs to her religion that she doesn't believe for herself. She picks the things she likes (which is still like 99.5% of her religion) and leaves the rest to hope. I am exactly like that, but I am picking the things out of many of the religions or belief systems out there. Here's what I put in my application about being agnostic:

"Agnostic isn't athiest. It is defined as:

1. One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.

2. One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.

3. One who is doubtful or noncommittal about something. <= ding, ding

I was raised a Catholic but after exploring other religion in high school and college, came to the conclusion that I had made no conclusion. I love the values that come out of religion and even a lot of the traditions, but to be able to profess that one is true over all the others isn't something I can do. I want my son to be raised with values and tradition of as many of the major religions as possible so that he can come to whatever conclusion he wants. I believe that the idea of God is a wonderful thing and I like the faith, love and strength that is encouraged. But I don't know it all and to scrap my journey would encourage others to accept that it is okay as long as you don't too. I am on many sites where Christians speak about their faith all the time and is lonely to have to keep your beliefs to yourself. This country was based on the freedom of religion, and I should be able to share it too. "

My faith is a journey, not a destination and I haven't found one religion that encompasses my beliefs. I am still open to religion, see the positivity it can bring and am a staunch believer of religious freedom. I would never tell anyone that they are weak/dumb/whatever for believing what they do because everything that regards faith has to do with the unknown and may defy human logic. I have a feeling that the whole story behind creation and life is bigger than the human mind can even start to understand and that our responsibility here is to follow the golden rule and serve our community in some positive capacity. I also would like to think that all the different religions in the world have a piece of the puzzle and not that one religion has "the" answer.

Please visit ScrapFaith and please support me and the visions of my cohorts. Anything positive you can leave for comments would also be appreciated since we're all sort of putting ourselves out there. Faith is a very personal thing and we're all sort of standing there in our underwear, but if it brings people together to coexist and understand each other, it is worth it.

Word on the Street

Big thanks to the guys at Sesame Street - the new season introduced a character named Murray who starts the episode with "Word on the Street," a vocabulary building skit. Dylan is soooo in love with Murray, his face brightens when he comes on screen, he laughs and then he immediately grabs for the remote so that Murray can introduce himself over and over. Hopefully there will be some Murray toys out soon, because he is a super duper hit in this household!!



When I went looking for Murray info, I googled him and came across an entire community of goobers who are devoted to sitting around and picking apart all the episodes. Observations included noting "risque jokes," screen time of Maria versus the others and other mundane things that just made me sad for them. If I found out that these were barren, single persons balancing their energy between Dungeons and Dragons and the Sesame Street forum, I would not be shocked. To think I felt pathetic watching the show as much as I do, at least I do it in support of my boy and not for giggles...

Oh, and we gave underwear another shot with Dylan because we like our furniture covered in pee. Really, we just think it is adorable...love this shot! I love to imagine the little stud he is going to be when he gets older... I suspect he will be one of those boys who is cute and when he gets in trouble, he just does something cute and everyone forgets. That's what he tries with me anyway, I try to put him in timeout and he smiles and dances for me. How do I discipline that?!

Not right, not fair

I knew that I was going to be connected to these 150 kids for a long time after teaching last year, but I was hoping to share more joy than not. I found out about a week or two ago that one of my students was being aggressively treated for leukemia. I was so sad for her and her family as all her friends were headed off to college and she was dealing with that. Well I found out last night that she lost her battle.

When I found out she was sick, it made me sad that she was sick in a hospital room while her friends were meeting their new roommates, seeing new cities, and starting a new chapter in college. Last night when I found out she had passed it made me sad to think of all the amazing things that have happened to me since I graduated high school and to think it might have all never happened. I learned a ton, I discovered who I am, I made a million and one great friends, met some not-so-special guys, met one special guy, had a great baby, had good jobs, saw so many places, and so on and so on.

I wasn't as close to this girl as I was to others, she was quiet and sweet. Now I wish I could have known her better because that was the only chance I had. I know a lot of people find strength and hope in their higher power when stuff like this happens, but it is probably when I resent religion and the idea that "everything happens for a reason" most of all. I could look at it as her being there to teach us all a lesson in loving life and appreciating everything in the moment, carpe diem, blah blah blah. It is hard to though. Because when kids have cancer and when kids die and while a million other awful things happen in the world, it is very hard to be grateful to the rhyme and reason of the universe. I'd rather think there's no one out there watching and that it is all a genetic fluke than to believe there is an all knowing entity who allows these things to happen for a reason. Because I have to think there's a better way to encourage us to be better people than to kill off people or make them suffer.

Anyways, sorry for a downer post after Labor Day. Enjoy everything about today, you just never know what tomorrow is going to bring...

Nothing new...

...but should that stop me from posting? I thought I would share Dylan's favorite singer, Lily Allen. Usually when he is cranky in the car I move the iPod to Lily as soon as possible. The beats make you just want to dance and dance, too bad she can't come to the US and do shows since she can't seem to master the art of a work visa. I'd totally go see her! Dylan has to wait until he is five though. I am a responsible parent like that. Here's one of my favorite songs, "Smile." I also like the new one with Common, look it up on youtube.

Catching up...

First of all, anyone notice that they changed the theme song to Sesame Street on the new episodes? It has a more hip hop beat to it. Anyone, nothing will get Dylan out of his seat and dancing like that new version. He even likes the music that plays during the credits. Whatever.

So we've been out and about and doing a million different things lately. This weekend kept up the manic pace as we hit Louisiana and then San Antonio. My family on my mom's side lives in Baton Rouge, and we (my mom, me and Dylan) did one of our quickie trips where we drove up Friday night and then left Saturday night. We stayed at a grotesque little motel where I am sure many hitchhikers and prostitutes have met an unfortunate fate. Dylan didn't want to be in the room, probably because children can communicate with spirits and all of them were telling him to run. We decided to take a late dip in the pool at ten and when we got there, the girl was locking it up. One look at Dylan in his swim trunks and floaties made her tell us that she would leave it open for us. Yay!

We went to my Paw Paw's the next morning and saw the newest addition - Max! He is a cute little boy almost adorable enough to make me breed again...almost. Here he is with his proud mama, Stephanie:

We spent a lot of time in the pool and Dylan got his first jump off the diving board. He always likes an audience, so he would pump his arms, say hooray, make sure everyone else said hurray and then jump. He had fun with his cousins Sadie and Katie...

There's something really neat about the fact that Dylan gets to swim in the same pool I used to swim in as a little kid. I used to love going out to Paw Paw's and eating good food and swimming - and now Dylan and I get to share that!

We got home around 10 that night and by nine the next morning, Jason, Dylan and I were on the road to San Antonio. I watched "Shut Up and Sing" the Dixie Chicks documentary last week and so I was inspired to roll through South Texas playing their newest album (which I love - check out "Everybody Knows," "Not Ready to Make Nice," and "Lullaby" if you haven't already). That should make someone laugh since we know how much of a country fan I am not, but I gotta like someone who stands up for what they believe no matter what the consequence.

Anyways, we were meeting the Kellers and the Fujas for a weekend in San Antonio at the Hyatt Hill Country Resort and to see Sea World. If you are ever in the area, check this place out. The prices were really fair considering how much you got out of the place and we constantly had fun stuff to do. My only complaint - why is it that the nicer the hotel, the more likely you have to pay for internet service? The roach motel in Baton Rouge has free internet, but of course this place didn't. No biggie since Jason worked there and will expense it, but just a peeve of mine. The trip was awesome (except Sea World - DS and DH pretty much melted down immediately) and I can't wait to go back...

Here are the highlights of the hotel:


and now with people having fun!


After the weekend, our family stopped in downtown San Antonio to see the Alamo and the Riverwalk. A great ending for a great weekend...


Thanks for tolerating that mega post - whew!!

12 on the 12th: debut

Well, Heather emailed me Sunday morning to remind us about 12 on the 12th, so I have my very first one done. I went ahead and used a digi kit to spice it up, and now I can load it at RSC for the online crop as a digi item. Here it is...12 on the 12th:August



So what went on that day?
1. Unmade bed, Sunday is my only day to sleep in but Dylan wants to come and hang out in there. Since he knows how to open doors now, Jason and Dylan have to go into the living room and I love the hall door so he can't get back there. What I will do for a little extra sleep...
2. Whataburger taquitos. I like potato, egg, and cheese - I got addicted while pregnant with the boy. Sundays are often a designated carb day, and this one was no exception. Yum.
3. It's my boy in a box! He got inside his mega blocks box and I put them in around him. He did not want to get out and the result was cute
4. Scrapping!! It was for the RSC crop, which I had a pic of the laptop for that I deleted. I wasn't nearly as productive as I had hoped, but that's life
5. I got the prius for the afternoon so I could head out to the...
6. Stampin Up party at Heather's. It was her first as a demonstrator and it was my favorite thus far. Her home is mine these days, so it was a much better experience. The food was amazing, company was good (prolly the last time I will see preggers Sabrina this round) and I ordered some good stuff
7. TiVo - spent some time on here. Caught up on Big Love, Rescue Me, and others
8. Dylan's jeep - we actually braved the heat and rode it outside in the street while we waited for Grandma Shelley to come over. I just started feeling really bad that he was riding it in the house
9. Design Team Contract - While I was at Heather's, I pulled up my email and found out that I made the AC Bailey team. Had to sign it, scan it and send it back. Since I found out that I made the Simply Obsessed team the day before, it was a very lucky weekend scrapwise
10. Little blue eyes on the attack
11. The garage - I am still working on perfectly organzing this bad boy. I've been working with these boxes (there are a total of six) and then we're working on our pegboard system. I like the idea of not having to be up-to-date on my tetanus shots to walk through the garage
12. Jason and I took advantage of the little time off from the boy that we had and took a dinner by ourselves. Ironically, we would have been willing to bring him here, but dangit it was rolls at the end of a carb day!!

And that is it. A great weekend overall.

Ready-Set-Create weeklong crop

Do you like lots of prizes? Free stuff rocks your block? Then get over to RSC today through next Friday. Lots of online crops get to feeling rushed, but the lazy days of summer inspired Jen to stretch it over a week so that everyone could check in and do stuff at their own pace. So get over there, the list of sponsors giving stuff away is ridiculous!!

First challenge will go up today at noon from yours truly...

Ready-Set-Create
End of Summer Crop
Kicks off 8/10/07 and lasts until the following Friday 8/17/07
This week-long crop will give you plenty of time to play and create, without feeling rushed! Our wonderful sponsors have provided lots of exciting prizes, from paper to digital.

www.readysetcreate.com
http://readysetcreate.com/forum/index.php?act=module&module=gallery

The Prizes Are:
The Digi Chick: Sponsor
Inkadinkado: Sponsor
Nitwit Collections: Sponsor
Tina Williams Designs: Sponsor
Scrappingham Palace
Die Cuts With A View
Andrea Nelson Designs: Sponsor
7 Gypsies
All My Memories
Scenic Route
Karen Foster
3 Bugs in a Rug
Magistical Memories
Magic Mesh
Ki Memories: Sponsor
Paper Trunk: Sponsor
Cornish Heritage Farms: Sponsor
EK Success
The Paper Element: Sponsor
P.M. Designs
Stemma: Sponsor
Piggy Tales: Sponsor
Prima: Sponsor
Wube: Sponsor
Paperwerx: Sponsor
Basic Grey
Junkitz
Maria LaFrance: Sponsor
J3 Designs http://www.designsbyj3.com/:

Checking in...

I don't have much to say, but I figured I would check in just in case Heather gives me nasty comments like "Geez, update already" on a prior post (the girl is known to do it).

Looking forward to: Sea World with the Kellers and the Fujas!!!! We've been throwing around the idea of this trip and it just wasn't looking like it was going to happen and then suddenly everything fell into place this week. I love being with these two families and Dylan adores them, so it is win-win. Jason likes to drink and so do they, so that will be three very happy Cumbys. Our financial situation is a little iffy right now because I am not working and I haven't been offered anything yet **hint, hint little bank** but I was not going to turn down a vacation that I am sure we will treasure and make excellent scrap memories with. Plus, we didn't really go anywhere this summer except Austin and any Texan knows that doesn't count. Counting the days to San Antonio...

The **hint, hint** is for a job interview I had on Monday. I really hate to jinx it by getting the least bit excited, but oh well. I've been really happy staying home with Dylan and had set aside money so that I could stay home with him permanently. A friend of mine that I've known since 7th grade called because he works for a little bank and that bank was looking for someone with a banking and teaching background with communications education to work in their version of Learning and Development creating and teaching training materials. It was right up my alley and I thought there could be no harm in applying and interviewing. Well, I did and I want it. The place is two minutes from my home, the position is awesome and the words "working from home"even came up in the course of the conversation. I would also be working side-by-side with this friend and I really love hanging out with this guy, so it would be lots of laughs. They let me know at the interview that everyone had different skills on the team, but the person I would be replacing was the only one who had actually worked in a branch meaning that my resume was more and more attactive. They also said they were just starting to interview and it could be a couple of weeks before they would know. I got a text from my friend that night saying they loved me...just hoping they loved me enough and they don't find anyone better. We didn't even talk about money, but hopefully that won't be too much of an issue. Word on the street is that the smaller banks don't lowball the way bigger banks, so fingers crossed.

Finally,the master bath is almost complete. I've been to BB&B twice now trying to get the right accessories and my goal is to finish this weekend and start fully using it. The ceiling and walls still need some touch up paint, the bath needs one more good scour to get sticky stuff off of it from promotional stickers, etc. Then it is the hardware, the shower rod and hooks and toilet paper holders and all. The new bathroom has amazing storage and is looking great. A reminder of where we've been and where we are going (after over a year, sadly)...

dangit, you better love the new format

...because i spent all night long on it. But it made me feel super smart. I started out thinking that I would go online and choose from some generic choices, sort of like how you would for myspace. You know, a lovely array of hearts, cars, playboy bunnies and other classy way to stake your claim on the internet. While I was looking through the code on the template, I thought I would just see if I could figure out what controls what. You know what? I figured it out and got to being all my digi scrap stuff for the ride. The background is actually an American Craft's wallpaper on it's side. On the header, the flowers are Jomi, background is a free Tia Bennett paper from the free digi kits on 2Peas, fonts are downloaded from net, and the green paper behind all the copy is actually a paper from the Lucky kit at heatheranndesign.com

Anyways, exhausting but exhilarating. Tomorrow I get to see my girl Heather (without any of our kids!) and I think I may even be up for helping her with her blog. Maybe.

Also, I decided to resurrect my scrap blog so I can post the things I make on there after spreading them all over different sites and clubs, so check under "find my handiwork" on the left for the link to "my scrap blog." Sometimes I don't feel stuff is worth a MB, so it is worth checking once a week or so. I will be dumping my RSC stuff there as soon as the issue is out, and I will not be bombarding any other galleries with that, so look me up there!

Real geniuses avoid Apple...

Cate's already gotten the sneak preview of this, and Andrea I am sorry for insulting the company you so proudly work for but... I loathe Apple.

I haven't ever really cared much about the Mac v PC debate. I am not an architect or musician or moviemaker that needs what the Mac offers, but in college I had to use PC's while I was there and the only sense I had was that it sucked to use Macs because when you went home to your PC you couldn't do much with those files. I do think Justin Long is cuter and funnier in the commercials than John Hodgeman, but that is as far as my preference runs. Even with oodles of robbery money, we bought Dell PC's this fall to replace our laptops. But like anyone else, we have the iPods and shuffles. And when they aren't stolen first, they inherently break.

Off to the Apple store I had to go. I tried to figure out where to ship it, but the instructions were all about how I probably screwed up and try this and try that and never anything like a clear address. So I dragged Little D and to the Galleria we went.

We'll start with the employees. They are referred to as geniuses, and I am pretty sure it has less to do with IQ or college degrees but more to do with barista experience and tattoos. (No offense Andrea, you're like corporate or something. You speak 95 languages, this isn't you). I walk into the overly flourescent lit store and there are too many apple groupies to count. They are using the technology mostly to make funny pics of themselves and looking around I see some mother-teen couples where mom is obviously buying the computer for college use. There are immediately two Geniuses flanking the door to welcome me into the world of pretensiousness and lameness. There are more, here and there, vultures walking around in hopes of a sale and eager twenty somethings dying to have the next combination of metal and micro technology that will hopefully make up for their social inadequacies.

I'm there too. I can't figure out where the register is, but I see a Genius bar with a black rope, so I leave Dylan at the children's commercialism corner and get in line. There are several geniuses bopping their heads to some ridiculous beat that has to be their posterchild/bald odd guy Moby and sort of not doing much. One genius finally asks what I need and I said I had a broken iPod. She tells me I must go over to the wall and make an appt. Really?! I point out that there are like eight Geniuses back there, but my sunny disposition has caught no takers. I walk over to the computers and really they might as well have been electron microscopes for all I knew about them. Adding to my charm, I announced to the genius that someone would have to come help me because I had no idea how to work the things. It was true, but I used the most obnoxious tone I could. By my estimation, she could have dealt with my iPod in the time it took her to set up my appointment for twenty minutes later. So now that I've made the effort to come in, I get to wander around with a toddler to kill time. Great. I've never wanted Dylan to face his demons and destroy a store like I did, but he must be saving that energy for a future trip to Bath and Body Works.

We came back and basically the genius realized it was broken and gave me a new one. Yay on that. The whole time I am standing there, groupies are sitting there on the stools (you could have offered me one, loser) playing on their macs and interupting our work to ask nerd questions like "Will Program X run on my Mac" to which the Genius must report that no, it cannot, but maybe someone has a fix out there on google. Wow, that is a superior product. Why don't the groupies get an appointment and leave me alone? Why do I buy iPods? Why?

In conclusion, my slight distate for Apple has flourished into an all out loathing that really made me want to never buy anything else from them again. I already hate the interface for loading music, I've never gotten the hang of it and refuse to update my playlist but every couple months because I think it is such a pain. Come to think of it, John Hodgeman is funny and cute in his own way...

There seems to be a theme...

I keep hitting the Simpsons stuff, but there is so much out there and it just too cute. I found this link on the ever awesome www.pinkisthenewblog.com and couldn't wait to try it out. Basically you upload a pic of yourself and they will create a Simpsons character based on that. Now I will know what I will look like when I finally land my guest star role on the show after I get super duper famous. I will warn you, it was a super pain and I went through a lotta pics before BK go it working, but it was worth it...

http://www.simpsonizeme.com/index.php

and here are two of my attempts...

I like this one!!

If you're reading this and haven't answered these questions yet, consider yourself tagged.

I got this from Angelina and I think these are actually more interesting than most of these. Probably nothing new, but still.

What were you doing ten years ago?
I had just finished my last year of high school. It was an awkward transition because my family had gotten in this thing I now joke of as a cult. It was a 12-step deal for troubled kids (aka drug addicts), for which it had been determined that I was. Let's just say they would tell parents a kid was an addict even if they had never had a drink because it was only a "symptom" of the disease. It was basically a sham operation run by money grubbing twenty somethings who used the fear of parents to milk their insurance or suck away all their money through outpatient care, group meetings and private counseling sessions. The kids I hung out with that in the program were awesome and I loved hanging out with them, but I was about to transition into their older group program for anyone over 18 and I wanted out. The awkwardness was graduating with kids I had known for years that I wasn't allowed to hang out with because they weren't "winners" and it severed a lot of friendships that were never a danger to begin with. I was a normal teen, not troubled, just trying to exert some independence. I knew I didn't belong there, but my mom was scared because they told her if I left I would die of drug addictions or something, so she said she wouldn't pay for my college if I left. I ended up spending maybe three more years there in that program among shiftless, lazy people who thought that if they didn't drink that day they had done enough. I wanted to get a degree and find an awesome job and just went through the motions so my mom would pay up. All those people who were labeled as not "winners" went off to college and all have great jobs and all the people who were "winners" are still lame as ever. Irony. The further irony is that my brother got roped into it and was actually transformed into a full fledged crackhead via the people he met there, but that's for another post and another time...


Five snacks you enjoy:

1. Rice Krispie Treats
   
2. Girl Scout Cookies
   
3. Chocolate
   
4. Carbs, carbs, carbs
   
5. Post Trail Mix Crunch Cereal
   

Five songs you know all the lyrics to: (warning - I love singing to rap. I am that hardcore...these are off the top of my head and don't necessarily represent all the music I listen to)

Salt N Pepa "Shoop" - "Here I go, here I go again, girls what's my weakness MEN okay then chillin chillin mindin my business..."

Snoop Dogg "Nuthin but a G thing" - "One, two, three and to the four, Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr Dre is at the door/Ready to make an entrance so back on up/ Cuz you know we gonna rip shizz up..."

Westside Connection "Westward Ho" - "Check it/ Ho shut your mouth and get naked/ I'm connected and I'm making hit records..."

Bon Jovi "Always" - "The picture that you left behind/Are just memories of a different life/ some that made us laugh/some that made us cry/one that made you have to say goodbye..."

Vanilla Ice "Ice, Ice Baby" - "Alright stop, collaborate and listen/Ice is back with a brand new invention/ Something grabs a hold of me tightly/Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly/Will it ever stop, yo I don't know/ Turn off the lights and I glow/ To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal/ Light up the stage and wax a chump like a vandal..."



Things you would do if you were a millionaire:
I'd buy a house on a bigger piece of land in Memorial near the park and we'd entertain all the time. I'd have a full staff of a housecleaner and cook so people could be over all the time. We could have a mini theatre too and a pool and basically we would be the place to be. Not because I like to entertain necessarilly, but I get lazy about leaving the house and now everyone could come to me with no real effort on my part. We would travel more and see places. I think I would spend as much time in school as possible because I love taking english classes and stuff. I don't know what else we'd do as far as buying stuff. I know I'd want a second Prius!

I would dedicate a lot of time and money to something like Planned Parenthood or create a foundation that works with it. Nothing frustrates me more than idiots in our government making it their business to decide that the world needs absitinence programs as opposed to safe sex education, especially when they do not make it their business to find safe homes and resources for the babies that magically sprout out of these programs that don't work. Kids and young women in particular need to understand their options, have open access to it and I would like to create places in those neighborhoods where kids are born and no one is watching them where they can come and be safe and learn and know that they can do something productive with their lives and not repeat the cycle. I had students in my classes who were thinking of trying sex and had no idea about anything other than condoms, and really didn't know even about condoms like pregnancy with misuse, disease prevention, etc. I think education and resources need to be freely available and I wouldn't mind doing so. I even read about a program once that would pay drug addicts to be treated for long term birth control and while I know a lot of people disagree with paying an addict $500 to get an IUD fitted since they will just spend it on drugs, I like that idea more than a child being born addicted to heroin or crack.


Five bad habits:

1. I am a picker - bumps and zits! I am messing with a pimple on my chin right now.
   
2. I eat too late at night
   
3. I eat crap
   
4. Our laundry gets started but is forgotten sometime in the middle and always has to be rewashed again before drying
   
5. I troll the internet and spend way too much time ready celeb crap instead of reading and actual book or being a productive member of society
   

Five things you like to do:

1. Watch TV
   
2. Scrapbooking
3. Read
4. Hangout with Friends
   
5. The family
   

Things you will never wear again:
Leg Warmers
Slutty police woman costume
Itsy bitsy teenie weenie poolka dot bikini
Diapers


Things I love to wear:
gym shorts
pj's
lots of eye makeup on rare occassions
The smell of yummy baby
flip flops

sorta got it!!

well, we didn't get to visit one of the quik-e-mart's, but austin at least has 7-11's, so i ran in and bought two six packs of buzz cola. really would have liked some krusty-o's instead, but i take what i can get. those two together are going for $20 plus shipping on ebay, ha!



they don't look exactly like that, but i am lazy and don't want to take pics. so as soon as i walked to the car, the bottom of the crappy bag magically disappated and the can hit the ground. suddenly as i was about to start a three hour drive home, my side of the prius and my leg were covered in a substance that advertises itself on the show as "twice the sugar, twice the caffeine." yeah, that it sticky and gross. it is still all over the car door, i haven't had the desire to clean it.

then when we arrived in houston, we drove by jason's dad's to pick up his little brother for a sleepover. wouldn't you know another exploded in the trunk? that would explain why the prius hatch is, you guessed it, sticky and gross. i had bought one of the six packs for heather's hubby because he seems to be a fan, but i made his a four pack. maybe he won't know the difference.

what will i do with mine? well, when my dad married my mom back in 87 and we moved in with him, he had a jolt cola in his fridge that he was proud to say that he had owned for 11 years. several moves and a lot of years later, that beyotch is still taking up refrigerator real estate. my guess is that the buzz cola will do the same.

i want! i want!

I want to visit one of the 7-11 renovations into Kwik-E-Marts for the Simpsons movie sooooo bad, but the closest is Dallas and it is just good practice to stay the heck away from there. I was really hoping they'd have one in Austin, but no luck. How cool would it be to take our Christmas card family photo in front of that?!

Plus, I was having a *serious* craving for a doughtnut with pink sprinkles and a Squishy...

The Buck Stops Here

These are really lame guys, these taggings on comments. Almost as bad as "hot females want you tonight" spam in my inbox. Ugh. I will do it, but I will not like it.

I was tagged...

So this is how it works. I must post the rules, 7 random things about me and then tag others to do the same. Sound fair enough, right? These are the rules…. each player starts with 7 random facts about themselves on their Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of their blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment. Except I won't do that because I am nicer than that. Or cooler than that, dunno which.

1. My hobbies include binge eating and television watching, sometimes (or quite often)together. I went to the gym today, I earned it.

2. According to family stories, my grandfather remembers seeing his wife at family reunions all the time when he was younger. Think about that for a second. I do not come from that part of the bloodline however. I don't think they are blood related either, but you know it is just fun to think about. Oh, did I mention we are from Louisiana. Maybe I should have started with that.

3. I love conspiracy theories. I love watching little films on youtube like "Loose Change" and knowing that I am smarter than everyone else for knowing the whole thing was orchestrated by the government. Whether it is true or not. Probably not. Don't get me started on how the government is keeping us all down. I expect to be vaporized for even mentioning any of this.

4. If I was rich, I might become a permanent student of English. I love reading books and uncovering all the patterns and themes and stuff. It makes me feel smart and deep. However, I have so far this summer spent more time reading about what Paris ate in prison. That does not make me feel smart.

5. I am hilarious and deserve a role in the world of comedy. However, I fear rejection and that is pretty much the name of the game there. What would I like to do? I would love to write sitcoms or something or live the life of Tina Fey. My plan for Dylan is to send him to school at the Improv so that he can leave home at 18 to become a comedian. Or a rockstar

6. Dylan just sat next to me and gave me the biggest hug voluntarily. I like that.

7. I really want to win the lottery. I haven't played since I read in 1984 that it is a tax on the stupid because, well, that makes me stupid. Which makes me smart for not playing (and being on to the government's conspiracy against us - have you ever met a lotto winner, probably not). But still not rich.

I bet you all feel like you know me oh-so-much better now...

Happy Father's Day, guys!!!

Just wanted to drop in and say Happy Father's Day... I am sitting on the couch next to Jason and our Father's Day celebration is nearly complete. Dylan and I got up this morning and made Jason's card, breakfast in bed (that was a trip to Whataburger for breakfast taquitos), and his altered gift (see below). Jason's special gift was a Roomba, but we all sat down just a minute ago to order it and we are picking it up at Circuit City soonly. I wasn't sure which to get, which is the only reason it isn't already here. Happy Father's Day, Jason! You are a good dad and I am proud to call you my baby daddy.

Jason's had a pretty good weekend that had nothing to do with me and Dylan. Last night our corporate boat trip got cancelled because of the weather, so we went over to Mom and Jim's to give Jim his Father's Day gift (see below) and hang out. Mom and Jim on a whim decided to buy Jason's his very own shotgun and case, and I think that Jason's was pretty happy. It was kind of funny because they were so afraid he was going to mad that they got him something, but he's pretty excited to go shooting with Jim next weekend and then in Austin next month. He also is happy that if we ever have to face looters in the hood, he now has a shotgun to brandish.

Anyways, we are on to the Northside today to see Dad and we are meeting him along with Bryan and Matthew. Ugh. Not for Dad, I love seeing him, but ugh on Bryan. He owes me money, so my hope is that I can get it out of him today. I don't really even need it (who am I kidding, yeah I do!) but it is a matter of principle. The principle is that he probably makes more than we do and that I shouldn't have to loan him money so he can support a crack habit or who knows what.

On that note, happy father's day and here are the gifts I came up with for this weekend...

wanna know...

what the most sinfully delightful food on this planet is? stouffer's mac and cheese. it is guys' night and i am eating a tv dinner alone like a spinster, but the creamy goodness of this crap along with the ever yummy fish filet is like a hug from the inside out. i could write the most seductive rap song about it, but i will hold back. that is all. thanks for listening, this was really weighing on my soul...


Exhibit A: Return of the Mac

happy birthday, dylan!

just wanted to come by really quickly and wish dylan a happy birthday...his party is this weekend and hopefully he will enjoy it and not want to just get to his nap like he did last year. thought we might celebrate more today than we are, but he still isn't feeling 100% after having pinkeye this week. can i say how much fun it is to try and chase those crusty eye boogers out of a squirmy boy who wants nothing to do with it? yeah, it rocks. if only the adhesive on the back of chipboard letters was as strong as the hold those pinkeye boogers had on his lashes, i would be in good shape. anyways, will probably spend the rest of the afternoon home relaxing with him and swinging in the backyard

he is celebrating two with a slew of new words, after not repeating a single word we've said to him for the other 100 weeks, someone must have hit the on switch and now he repeats everything. good thing too because i didn't want to face the shame yet again at the checkup with the doctor of him still not talking. yesterday he had the cha-cha's and i must have made an impression with my "yuck's" and "ew's" because he's been running around saying that all day long. we went to the gym this morning and he acted like the day care sucked, but when i snuck in to pick him up, he was in the middle of like five kids dancing and singing as they laughed at him and clapped. always the entertainer...available for work anytime. he needs to work because soon i won't have an income and someone needs to make us some fun money...here he is, the happiest boy in the world...

they do hate us for our freedom

...because unfortunately some of us use our freedom to be haters. **warning, rant to follow**

i feel the need to blog about this only because it comes at a time when i am already frustrated by my fellow americans. it seems in this country that the only form of discrimination towards a race or religion that is still accepted and actually encouraged (other than mexicans when it comes to building a wall) is towards middle eastern, arab americans and muslims. it came up this weekend when someone i like just fine passed around a joke that basically equated muslims with terrorists. i spoke up because someone should. one of my favorite students was a muslim, and another teacher felt it was fine to joke with him in front of his peers about him carrying a bomb or flying planes into buildings. this stuff happens all the time. what is wrong with us that we think that this is okay?

stop it. it is not okay. it is makes you the worst kind of american there is. absolute worst. patriotism is not just holding an effen flag up and putting a yellow tag on your car to support your troops. patriotism is not believing in jesus christ and throwing rocks at women at planned parenthood. patriotism is giving your fellow americans the right to freedom of religion, freedom of speech and the freedom to celebrate their heritage. patriotism means your right to worship jesus on a cross is absolutely on the same level of a muslim kneeling towards mecca. american means brandy cumberland's rights are as important as mohammed khan's, as important as tamika jackson's, as important as pedro ramirez's, as important as george carlin's, as important as sarah silverman's.

jason and i are watching a documentary (unconstitutional: the war on our civil liberties) that looks at the patriot act and other ways that we've made civil liberties obsolete in the united states. don't know why we watch this stuff because it just pisses us off, but we do. i think the only thing that is worse than the anger and frustration i feel when i watch this would be apathy.

the story centers aroung the people whose civil liberties have been abused the most: arab americans. random arab families who live and work among us all who were plucked from their homes and detained for nothing more than their ethnicity. while our court system operates under the idea that you are innocent until proven guilty, these detention centers operate under the opposite assumption. wtf? does anyone remember in wwII when the us did this to about 120k japanese american people (62% of which were citizens)? this documentary also points out that these acts alienate these groups and that since it creates an "us vs. them" mentality, it would only cause us as citizens to be even less protected. great idea, all thanks to the us patriot act.

ah, the us patriot act. if i didn't love it enough while working in banking, i loved covering it when i taught orwell's 1984 this year. we discussed newspeak (the govt's use of a shortened language for the country to streamline/minimize thought) and i asked "what do you think of when you hear those words?" patriotism-honor-american-taking action-united-principles and such. us patriot act stands for "uniting and strengthening america by providing appropriate tools required to intercept and obstruct terrorism." now that doesn't sound like what you were thinking!! god bless america, because it needs it...

playing catchup - part one

since i have my gym clothes on and i need to get to the gym, i've decided to take this moment to catch up on all things that have been going on...

cate's wedding: lovely. have to be honest, loved the bachelorette party better. to keep things pg here, let's just say that cate and i personally participated in too many mind altering substances and we properly celebrated her upcoming nuptuals. everyone else had fun too, but i didn't wake up next to anyone other than her at 3 am. the downside was the downpour that came that night - it was raining sooo hard and then the window shut on diana's hand and i had no idea how to get it out. i hope her hand healed, i forgot to ask the next time i saw her. anyways, par-tay and the only point of suckitude came when our waitress at the bar said, "mrs. cumberland?" bad news. she wasn't my kid but knew my kids and wanted to be my kid and who knows what else she was saying because all i could think was, "crap." the only thing that came out of that was when i saw one of my girls and she said, "i know what you've been up to" because her friend said i was there for a bachelorette party. no biggie since i had already told them to plan on me calling in sick for friday because i was going to have a late night.

but as far as the wedding goes, my complaint was that my kid looked borderline retarded because some bug bit his face and it was way swollen. so he looked weird and his attitude was in the crapper. can i say how excited jason was to be on baby duty for that. very pretty wedding, but outside and it was hottttt. at some point i realized my thighs were sweating and it was dripping down. when the wedding was over, jason and dylan and i all went into an upstairs bathroom and took off all unneccessary clothing just long enough to cool down. then we found the shadiest part of the yard and had fun there eating and chatting with others (such as jenni and her improptu family, dr and mr fullerton and the montrose community)

to cate and jason, i hope you guys have a blast together. life is meant to be fun and you should have your best friend there with you all the way. best friend with benefits makes it all the better. jason, i've only met you once really but you'd have to kick pretty big butt for cate to commit to all that. cate, i've known you for 12 or 13 years now, believe it or not, back when you were wearing 18-hole doc martens (not cool) and it's been great having you in my life. it is really funny how you and i have such conflicting schedules and only see each other very occasionally, but somehow you are the sole person i always end up telling my biggest secrets to. somehow you always ask the right questions that make me be honest about what's going on instead of getting honest later or not at all. you're a true friend, and i am proud of you. life hasn't always been easy for you, but you've used everything to grow and be the true person you are. you are the last person to put on a show or be untrue to yourself, and i respect that. i also respect that you listen to your gut when you realize you want more in life and you take the chances to get where you want to be. sure your student loan debt rivals the national debt and you haven't slept since you started grad school, but you're my hero like that and i honestly would not have taken the risks i did quitting the bank and teaching without you behind me. now that i am embarking on even riskier ventures, you are my role model some more. thank you and i hope your worst day as a fricke is even better than your best day as a black!

** and with that i will actually go to the gym. tune in next time when i actually talk about andrea's wedding and stuff like that. until then, let me leave you with some pics of little cate - oh, and yeah, she has some tattoos. i got to be there for the first couple, but then it became a hobby for her. very feminine, flowers and stuff. =)

brainfreeze...thawing slowly

just wanted to drop in and say that i will make sure to update the blog soon for cate and andrea's wedding and for the end of high school. there's been so much going on and very little time to stop, lean back and reflect. but soon, people, soon.

mother's day recap

i was sending an email to heather about mother's day when i decided to paste it onto here. if anyone needs a refresher, i have a loser brother who disappoints at every turn. years of meth, vicodin, crack and whatever else he chooses to snort or smoke has eliminated any couth or common decency. i feel obligated to say i love him because he is blood but the years of disappointment have basically made him simply fodder for interesting conversation.

i threw a fantastic little brunch here for my mom and stepdad, jason's mom and stepdad and bryan and his baby were also invited. i also bought mom and karen matching silver heart keychain lockets and they really enjoyed it. but then there's always the issue of my brother, and here's where i simply paste from the email to heather:

"it was great. the brunch went really well, cooked lots of yummy stuff (i was still eating the heath bar dip for dinner tues nite) and everyone seemed to have a good time. bryan was his typical self. was actually on time, but didn't ask if i needed help, immediately went to sleep on my couch clutching his child to him while matthew gave a "my life sure sucks" look (which freaked karen out as she assumed bryan was coming off of crack or something and mouthed the words "is he okay" desparately to jason). he bitched about megan the whole day, took me outside to say that it was my fault that he looked like an ass because he didn't buy mom a gift (he says i said i would take care of it, unfortunately he is thinking of every other holiday and mother's day and has simply begun to assume i would do it) but wasn't interested in putting in any cash on the brunch that he pigged out on, and finally ended the day by this interaction (which i think i will copy onto my blog):

bryan: so is your bathroom in working order?
me (in the midst of doing a million things): what?! oh, yeah. wait, are you going to make twosies?
bryan: huh huh. yeah.
me: ugh. well let me go in there first.
bryan: so what kind of magazines do you have?

the rest of that dialogue moves to my head where i ask myself "what do you think this is? mother effen barnes and noble? is it not a visit from you until you've fallen asleep and dominated a toilet? there's no way i am related to you. i want a paternity test. i DEMAND a paternity test."

me: ugh. yeah, there's a magazine bin over there.

note to all who visit, do not touch the entertainment weekly with spiderman 3 on it. it has now officially been descecrated, as well as my poor bathroom that smelled like death all the rest of the day."

in case anyone is wondering why jason is so adament about dylan being an only child, this pretty much backs up his theory that inevitably one child is better than the other and everyone knows it. i am sure it isn't true for everyone, but my family has a genetic disposition towards it most assuradly. we also had a disposition towards loser ass sons, but i have nipped that in the bud by having the most kick ass boy ever.

therapy, anyone? thank goodness i can eat my feelings... come here, french toast casserole

To the left, to the left...

Some of your names have disappeared from the list on the left. It isn't because I don't love you. Hello...I love you. (Unless it was that certain website that is closing down, eff all that). No, it is because I have found myself late on a May night clicking on your links just to find that your latest link features pumpkin picking or at the worst, "Bad address" implying that one of you simply gave up on blogging altogether.

Look, no one is perfect. But you can post once a month. Let me challenge you to update your blog. You can do it, I have faith in you.

Prom Mom!!

I was late to prom. Ten years late. But the point is that I finally went and I am glad I did. One of the many incredible things that this year has done for me is give me the high school senior year I was supposed to have ten years ago as far as normal high school school life, and while I don't regret the direction that my life went ten years ago since it ended here with all that I have, it is always wonderful to have your cake and eat it too.

Just wanted to comment on that, though I think all the pics have been shared I will still post a couple of those same ones here. Everyone needs an excuse to glam it up every now and then, and I am glad I got a chance.

Sprouts taste like dirt

Just wanted to validate Jason's earlier findings...went to lunch today and ordered an Ahi Tuna Salad that turned out to be raw fish on a bed of sprouts, tomato and avacado. The rest was good, but I senses that the sprouts were actually grass clippings. He's right, that's all.

Tomorrow is Grand Lux with the girls...YUM!

...and the past predicted this...

The last book we are reading for the school year is Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath. I have whined and complained, but I finished all 500 pages of redundant chapters about dust and sun and poverty. With every book this year, I've walked away respecting the work and what the author achieves whether I've actually enjoyed reading it or not. I always ask the kids if the book is still important/ relevant today and I thought I understood why GOW is. If you've never read the book, it follows a family to California as they travel looking for work as banks take over everyone's land and drive them into absolute poverty. The book is following migrant workers, so naturally I related the work to how we treat immigrants from Mexico. There is a chapter where the rich men are judging the "Okies" who've come to California and say about them: "They ain't human. A human being wouldn't live like they do. A human being couldn't stand to be so dirty and miserable. They ain't a hell of a lot better than gorillas..." It made me think for a brief second that I shouldn't judge so harshly these people, but it did not stop me from calling Amador this week to mow my lawn for cheap.

However, the book made even more sense for me as I was watching the American Idol Gives Back results show. Sounds a little ridiculous, but stick with me. I was a little agitated that they were focused on all these kids in Africa because the rate of poverty for children in the US is insane, but then I saw the part where Randy Jackson went to New Orleans. I am from Baton Rouge and when I hear anyone from Louisiana speak, black-white-cajun-whatever, I can always close my eyes and hear a little bit of home. It makes it that much harder when I watch stuff about Katrina, which I've been obsessed with since it happened. Anyways, Randy showed the FEMA trailer park with clean rows, one after another after infinite other, of white trailers and the kids playing in the shell of what used to be the community center and it all made sense to me. History repeats itself over and over and books are here to remind us of that. Flickr is misbehaving or I would show you, but the FEMA camp is an exact replica of the government camps like Weedpatch where migrant farmers back in the days lived. The reason that's important is that we still haven't learned our lesson or made progress. One would think in this day and age that a nation wouldn't allow its own people to live in the squalor some of them do, but as it was then, as it is now, as it was in Orwell's 1984, the upper class needs a worker class to survive, they can't allow them to improve their lives lest they gain too much power and the upper becomes the worker class, and most importantly human life is still not appreciated or valued. The upper class is vying for the money and will do whatever it takes to get it.

Sorry for the rant, but before my life goes to "A,B,C and 1,2,3" I should get some thoughts out while I still have them. All the novels I've read recently that deal with these social inequities emphasize that if these lower classes would unite and have a mentality of we instead of me, that by speaking in that one voice, changes can be demanded and will be provided. That's the same reasoning I've had for wanting to give up on politics, all of it. The me's have it, they own it, and there is little to be done about it. So my challenge to myself is to figure out how I can make a difference in my own way. How does one person make a difference?

i may have predicted the future...

i don't want to trivialize the goings on at virginia tech college today because that is absolutely tragic and those people are all in my thoughts, but coincidentally i had a school shooting dream saturday morning and the timing was a little creepy. definitely has me paying a little closer attention.

i have incredibly vivid dreams and this one was pretty darn intense. this weekend, i was in austin chaperoning a conference for the kids, so i did tell my roomie teacher about it saturday morning and i told my kids in first period before this all happened. in conclusion, not making it up.

in my dream, i was teaching a class and the kids were being disruptive. senioritis has totally set in, and in real life one of my girls who has been goody goody great all year has been sliding into crabby complainer cathy mode. in the dream she was doing it again:

me: "cathy, i need you to stop complaining and pay attention."
cathy: "i don't think i am going to be able to do that."
me: "if you don't stop talking, i am going to have to call for the asst principal."
cathy: "well i guess you are going to have to call for the asst principal."

each of the classrooms has a little panic button you can push for the ap's to come, and in the dream i push it and go back to teaching. when the door opens i casually look up expecting to see a puffy middle aged administrator in a tie and instead feel my bowels turn to ice as i take in the sight of two young men with machine guns. i drop to my stomach and as i repeat in my mind the act of contrition over and over like any recovering catholic schoolgirl in crisis ("oh my god i am heartily sorry, oh my god i am heartily sorry"), the boys enter.

in that moment i realize that the things that seemed so important minutes before meant absolutely nothing. my life is literally flashing before my eyes and i let the sound of repetitious prayer in my mind try to drown out the sounds of kids trying to scurry out behind the armed men and the squeals of terror fade as they escape. i am scared, terrified, but what is the point of indulging that? what will be, will be. the armed men appear to have their weapons drawn specifically to a small group of three and one of my students is trying to negotiate a peaceful end. i hear bits and pieces as i desperately pray. i am not praying for life because i've already accepted in those moments that my life is over and hopefully quickly and mercifully. faced with the afterlife i am depending on the little bit of religion that i know to attempt to avoid fire and brimstone. i am not sure what lies on the otherside, but just in case...i pray and i pray and i pray.

you know how you supposedly can't die in your dreams? i have before and lived to tell the tale, but when i tried to stay in the dream and not wake up so i could see what happened i just couldn't do it. for some reason, i am fairly certain i was going to die in it. i woke up at 5:35 a.m. in that hotel room in austin with my heart thudding heavily and a feeling of dread running through my body. schools are a scary place, the world is a scary place. i had that feeling saturday morning and when i glanced up at a television set this afternoon in the teacher's lounge, i had that feeling reinforced. those people are all in my thoughts...

No talent hacks

What is up with American Idol and the no talent hacks that keep making it through? I think I get the Sanjaya Malakar thing, people have latched on to a cause and they want to mock the system and let his little sissy bird voice be heard week after week, but Haley Scarnato? Every week the best the judges can say is "Nice tits" and still. I guess Gina Glocksen should've spent less time practicing her song and more time adding those little chicken cutlets to her bra because that seems to be how America is voting.

Here's a pic from the first time I noticed that Haley had realized that her only hot commodity was her booty... heaven knows I wear itty bitty shorts with heels all the freakin time. That's all for now. Just needed to vent.



Bye, Gina. I wasn't ever going to vote for you, but at least you can sing. But the tongue ring is like ten years ago. It is hard to be a rebel when every sixteen year old has beat you to the punch. Be a rebel and wear full clown makeup, I'd vote for that. Just don't be creepy like Anna Nicole in that video, bleh

Prom is coming!!!!

...and I have a date that isn't my husband. Scandalous. So much better than high school, the second time around is. After several barely legal offers, I have settled on a group - Mr. M (the math teacher that looks like Jim from "the Office"), Mrs. B-K (the teacher who allegedly looks like me) and Ms. N (very cool Hebrew teacher). The kids think I am going with Mr. M because they don't know the others though, and he suggested for further effect we coordinate our outfits. I think he was serious, but I laughed at him. Then I tried to imagine finding a neon pink dress so he would wear a neon pink cumberbund. Jason's okay with all this, I just checked.

Coming soon, I'll let everyone vote for the dress I wear. I have a couple of options now, plus I'll have to shop Heather's closet. I also need yall to choose a bridesmaid gown for a wedding, several options there too.

So prom is May 5th and I am stoked. We are all going to be chaperones, but I am just looking for a good time. The girls are buying totally expensive gowns and I was shocked - some at $400 are more expensive than some wedding dresses! The kids are looking at party buses and limos and finding fancy restaurants to eat at and it is totally adorable. I love watching the boys try to get their courage together to ask a girl out, it is seriously like watching "The OC" 24/7.

Have I mentioned how much I am going to cry in May? As glad as I will be to quit working, I love so many of these kids and am going to cry at not seeing them everyday. I think I will stay in touch with a lot of them though. April's next big event is Senior Picnic where we take a field trip to some ranch and hang out all day in the hot Houston sun. I better get to go, most of the senior teachers get to. Fun times ahead!

I loathe Chris Daughtry

I haven't posted in awhile, but this has been weighing on my mind. I know that it is a totally negative (and superficial) post, but when I become famous people will have equally snarky things to say about me and it will all be even steven. I may make some enemies with this, but I need to get it off my chest...

I consider myself a pretty big American Idol fan. I have followed it closely most seasons (except the Fantasia one) and I admit there is always someone grating on my last nerve (like Sanjaya - wtf are you still doing on there? America, sometimes you suck more than they do) But usually they all fade into the sunset when the cameras go down, release an album that I don't notice and that is the end of it. Except for Chris Daughtry. I will start by saying that he can easily pass for any other Nickelback-Creed-insert-name-of-random-rock-dude-I-don't-know-the-name- of-here and for that reason it is easy not to care. Not hate, but not care. There is not a thing special about him that makes him terminally unique, no winning personality, nothing. Now he has a song on the radio that I am forced to notice and I am haunted by more powerful feelings that indifference.

He bothered me all last season because he seemed to really think he was the one whose caca didn't stink (I suspect it smells like Boone's Farm and cigarettes). He did his same wannabe rocker performance over and over (this from a girl who totally dig Bo Bice, his alleged inspiration for auditioning). When he got voted off, I thought he was going to sock it to Ryan Secrest and not in the way Ryan would want. He looked shocked like he thought he already won and a little psychotically violent. Fast forward to an article I read now about an event he did:
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20007164_20008533_20011924_,00.html

It sums up every thing I think about him, that he is a self indulgent a-hole without a speck of gratitude for what he has been given and resentment towards the "corny" show that got him there. I mean, he refuses a Q&A for terminally ill kids?! Ugh!! They should send him back to his doublewide trailer back in Who-gives-a-crap, USA where he came from. And that's what I have to say about that. Don't buy his album, waste your $15 on one of the other bands that sound the same and haven't irritated the poop out of me yet. If he thinks it is lame to be known as the guy from AI, he should go back to the guy who isn't known at all. That's how I'd like it anyway.

Thanks for listening, that felt good. Here's a photo from the AP of Daughtry looking cheesy with the other Idols, which would probably make him cry his white trash Boone's tears...

Red is dead

I took Shannon's test because frankly I haven't posted in a long time and it seemed the right thing to do. I will go see Justin on Sunday so there will be postings then, but in the meantime this will have to do...


REDS are motivated by POWER. They seek productivity and need to look good to others. Simply stated, REDS want their own way. They like to be in the driver's seat and willingly pay the price to be in a leadership role. REDS value whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it be in their careers, school endeavors, or personal life. What REDS value, they get done. They are often workaholics. They will, however, resist doing anything that doesn't interest them
REDS like to be right. They value approval from others for their intelligence and practical approach to life, and want to be respected for it. REDS are confident, proactive, and visionary; but can also be arrogant, selfish, and insensitive. When others interact with you, as a RED you respond to them best if they are precise, factual, direct, AND show no fear


I am red and like two years ago I would have taken pride in that because it takes a red to move up the corporate ladder and it takes a red to make good money and it takes a red to run the world. The funny thing is that I am trying to run full speed away from red. I am part of the way there, though I think I am starting to accept that at some level red is what flows through my veins (not that Shannon has yellow in hers, I think she has red, but you know what I mean). Even if I quit the "real" job to become a teacher, I had to teach at the best school and teach the highest honors level. There's something in my head that expects that I should be wildly successful at everything I do and always have the best opportunities, and in a way there is nothing wrong with that. Heaven knows I am hoping this next journey I am embarking on yields the same results because I do not fail, and I certainly do not do so in front of others. But I think that's the issue, that sometimes I need to fail or at the very least be okay with yielding small things. However, being cognitively aware that I need to occassionally fail is definitely not the same as being okay with failing, and so for today I will continue to count the gold stars I give myself in my head for the countless amazing things I did today...even if part of my journey includes giving out gold stars for the smaller things like showering and swinging in the back yard with the boy.

Write on!

It has been a long time since I posted, and I am sure that everyone has been absolutely devestated. Not much has been going on, but at the same time a whole lot has been going on. I have continued struggling to find out what I want to be when I grow up and feel I may have gotten a little closer. Teaching reading and writing is out, but doing reading and writing is in. I am having a hard time with this, but I have decided that after school ends, I am going to quit my job and try and write professionally.

Now in my head, this sounds ridiculous. I am not sure what it sounds like out loud to anyone else, but everyone has been supportive so far that I find myself able to tell. But the way I tell it is self defeating, like I know how dumb it sounds and so I try to cover it up with "and when that doesn't work I'll start grad school." I don't need a psychiatrist to tell me that I do stuff like that because I am afraid to fail in front of everyone and that I need to have the balls to just say "I am going to professionally write" and leave it at that. The upside is that my plan involves Dylan going to school parttime so two extra days a week we can chase butterflies or laugh at farts together and then the other three days I can give this a go. I am telling myself that so far I taken leaps of faith and never fallen on my face once. In fact, I am always amazed at how fate seems to shine on me and give me the best opportunities. I always end up at the right place at the right time, and there is no reason to believe writing can't end up the same way.

Except there are tons of reasons and they chase each other through my mind until I am dizzy and have to lay down. Ugh. The good news is that I've thought about every reason over and over and I am on the other end of it now. This is something I want to do. I see boodles wanting to see their scrap creation on the cover of CK or be on a design team, but my dream is to be the one who wrote the article next to it. Or the article on post partum depression or teen pregnancy or the next bestselling novel. It doesn't matter as long as I get to write.

It has been really hard to go through this at this age...I feel like this is what people just starting their adult life should feel like. I feel like I should have been ignoring dollar signs and going after dreams a long time ago, but obviously things work out the way they are supposed to. I finally felt good about this when I told my mom the other day about my latest plan. I thought she might have some trite comment or say "whatever makes you happy," but I was pleasantly surprised with her response. She had been watching what I had been doing for years, overachieving so I could have awesome jobs on resumes, making the best grades while working fulltime and chasing the money and that I had never allowed myself to follow an actual dream. She told me that she was so glad that I was taking time to explore this passion because if I didn't now, I might never (which triggered that creepy moment where you wonder what dreams your mom feels she sacrificed to do what she had to for you, but that's another post and another day). Anyway, her understanding and her genuine support have made me lock the self doubt up in a trunk and walk away. It is hard making it through classes and grading knowing that this new journey is so close, but I am trying to focus on the fruits of this one while I can. I am also letting students know that as the enter the workforce, there is always the chance I will be hitting them up for a job someday. You know, when this doesn't work out...there I go again