Friday, October 13, 2006

Happy two month anniversary!

One of my students today let me know that we had reached my two month milestone of teaching and congratulated me on this momentous day with a card and special gift. Touched by the sentiment, I ripped into the shiny paper and was ecstatic to see a copy of "Josie and the Pussycats" with Rachel Leight Cook, Rosario Dawson and Tara Reid.

Am I serious about that level of passion? Oh yes, I love that movie. When we were talking in class about my robbery (hey, I have 90 minutes to fill and Canterbury Tales doesn't always stretch far enough), the conversation turned to my previous robbery. The first robbery was a DVD player and 50 DVD's, including the stunning title I previously mentioned. I had to confess that I **love** that movie and missed it more than Casino, Goodfellas and the other fine movies that celebrate my 1/2-1/4 Italian heritage.

So then I was doubly happy to see that this meant that this guy listened to my class enough to pick up on that, and felt like my ecstasy could only be topped if he had actually learned something that might be on the IB exam. As far as I know, Mrs. Cumberland's misfortunes will not be a selection for the oral commentary, but I will check on that.

The highlights from the card from my fab 8th period - they use big words because this is the smarty pants class:
...what is the purpose of this thank you note? The answer to this is simple. First of all, the card embodies the class' appreciation that you're our IB English teacher, instead of (no good teacher here)...we wouldn't want to be in our comrades' predicament of having to listen to him blather insessently throughout the entire class and we are also grateful that you do not religiously practice witchcraft like (crazy woman here), as she asserts. Basically we are thankful of our luck that our counselors decided to arrange our schedule so we could be in your class (and this next part means he learned from our unit on One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich) just like Shukhov was fortunate not to end up at the Socialist Development Center thanks to Tiurin's shrewd ways.

Secondly, the letter serves to congratulate you for maintaining a sanity level and affable character after the first two months of teaching...Anyways, we commend you for not going home every night and sobbing in the corner while watching the Real World or South Park with 9 quarts of Ben and Jerry's and wishing you hadn't renounced your position at the bank as branch manager"


Moments like that are the only reason I stay, and I think it says a lot about my character than I censor myself enough that he doesn't know I go home and cut on myself with razor blades to relieve the pressures of the day. Oh sweet blood. Kidding, of course. But it does really suck sometimes. And so I cut...

Speaking of blood, when we flew to Philly, Jason and the other teacher we were with saw this priest who was on the flight. He had a crucifix the size of Dylan and blood all on his white robe. Jason and this teacher were pretty obsessed with the guy. I was just freaked out to make fun of him in my head since right after I dissed God's aim in this blog, he possibly made a display of showing off his mad skills by allowing my house to be robbed. Blasphemy, I know, but at least I am not so much a lost soul as not to consider his grand power and his retribution for my actions. My mind is still slightly ajar, and especially since I know what to expect when Bush and Cheney usher in the Rapture. Anyways, I could argue that two other houses were robbed in the same spree and so the skills may not be so mad, but I do not need to anger the Man Upstairs again.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you have a great class, and are doing an excellent job! Again, can I convince you to come north to WI, it really doesn't get that cold ;)

Carrie

Kache said...

Um, I never knew anything about my teachers in high school..especially personal things like their favorite movies. Of course, I wasn't in the ultra smarty pants class either, so that might say something about me as opposed to my teacher.

correct Krystn's grammar starting.......now

Rita said...

Okay, I don't think God directed your robbery. I've heard people say lots worse things about Him than you and nothing happened to them so...

I just realized by looking at the links on your blog that Jason has his own...so cool. So, if he notices on google analytics that some random person in kingwood (other than Heather) is looking at his blog...tell him it's me...not a stalker.

Brandy said...

Rita, I don't think so either. But I don't want to rule it out lest He feel the need to really show me what's up. Secretly, I think it is more likely crackheads or my friends from New Orleans who the mayor has warned about. Oh well...

Susan said...

Great bunch of kids you have, but funny how they could smell the sobbing and Ben and Jerry's on you, isn't it?

Jason said...

It's nice to know you're hedging your bets and trying to not piss off god. You can feel better in knowing that if you do make him mad and he decides to direct some other robbery crew to hit out house, that at least our replacement value will be quite a bit higher.

I'm glad I know about Rita and her stalker ways. I was staying up nights thinking about whom that IP could have been. Now I know, and I hear that knowing is half the battle.

Heather said...

Happy two month anniversary!

shannon said...

happy two months. sounds like your students are pretty great. and i think it's great that you talk to your students about stuff other than school related topics. so much more personable. always makes me like a person more when they can open up a bit about themselves... not always easy!

Breana said...

what a cool class you have!