Wednesday, February 27, 2008

A laugh from the gut

I don't usually post stuff from other blogs, but somehow I came across a blog called "Stuff White People Like" and I believe I peed my pants several times. See, it kinda sucks in some ways to be white. Whereas there is pride in other demographic groups like African Americans, Hispanics and Latinos, homosexuals, and so on, white people are reminded that they are about as cool as a naked old man covered in liver spots. Basically the caucasian demographic is seen by others as Mr. Burns on the Simpsons. So there is nothing cool to be proud of (and frankly, the only accomplishments white people can tout involve the persecution of others. You look cold, would you like a blanket? I'm sure it isn't covered in smallpox...)

So if you can't have pride in yourself, you should be able to laugh at your ridiculousness. It turns out that white people are terribly predictable and lame. Check out this blog:

Whoever is writing this stuff is both hilariously witty and spot on (Andrea, if this ends up being you I will not be the least bit shocked). My favorite things that white people like:

Expensive Sandwiches
The Prius!!
Hip Hop Songs (the honorable mentions list is my iPod playlist...I swear)
Whole Foods
Apple Products
Arrested Development, both the show and the group
Knowing what's best for poor people
Standing still at concerts

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

My transformation into hippie magic

Sitting here watching my fave episode of Sesame Street - the Buckaneers. Where else can I get Abby Cadabby's "Words" song, Tina Fey and Chris Brown singing the catchiest song about signs to infect my brain. Big thanks for Elmo, because this week Dylan sang his ABC's all the way through by himself. I about crapped myself, it was as though he had written out the formula for curing cancer and put it in my lap. Sometimes he says "next time won't you sing with Elmo" since that's what his little ABC toy says. Makes me laugh.

Other than that, I'm faced with a moral dilemma. Jason and I have been fans of documentaries and I am suddenly carrying a burden of guilt (conscience?) because we learn a lot and don't do anything. What I'm talking about is environmental... we were watching "Six degrees could kill the world" or something close to that on either Discovery or Natl Geographic and they looked at how one cheeseburger from a fast food joint slaughters so much carbon. It was a reminder how much every little thing we consume has a long story behind it. The cheeseburger starts with a cow (slaughterhouses are aweful for the environment too!), grains are grown, etc and then all this stuff is transported via refrigerated vehicles long distances, paper wrappers, and so on. Really, the one cheeseburger put the Stepford Wives' SUV's to shame. This was on top of me reading Fast Food Nation last summer and knowing the awfulness that is a slaughterhouse and the patheticness that is the processed American menu. I can't believe I am saying it, but maybe I need to find ways to feed my family using natural local resources. When I opened my eyes to what all comes from China, I was astounded. My jar of Mandarin oranges, apples, shrimp, etc. They don't just ship us lead paint, peeps. If you think of how much it takes to ship all that here, it is sorta sad. Not to mention the chemicals, preservatives and such that I know must be responsible for my chronic migraines and such.

So I started looking at ways I could help. We recycle and we drive a Prius and that's nice, but it is nothing. Everytime I go to a store and get twenty plastic bags I cringe. Guess who is headed to the Target dollar spot for some of those vinyl bags? I think that will make me feel better. My friend and I had a big discussion on all of this and she told me about small markets in Houston where local farmers come in to sell meat without hormones and such and raw milk. Not sure if I am ready for raw milk, but meat that isn't put through radiation would be nice. I am happy to say we went organic with milk when Dylan started it, but my understanding is that organic is still a far cry from any natural form. And yes, I need to get my bum to the farmers' market for some pesticide free fruits and veggies from local farmers. Whenever I do go to market, I need to remember that rule that the only things I need to buy are along the outside of the grocery store, avoiding aisles. Do I think that benzoate sulfuric no 8 is something intended for the human body? Probably not.

Sorry for the hippie rant, but I was suddenly faced with the fact that I should make some changes for me and my family. If you get a chance to TiVo that documentary, do it. It is amazing that people can think global warming doesn't exist after you've seen that. Seeing why English wine production is doing better than French is fascinating...and was probably preventable if we weren't turning our planet into a hotbox. Rant complete.

** thanks to my super sis andrea who emailed me this link to a dude in nyc who is feeling my guilt and doing something:

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Throw you a bone...

I know everyone on the www is scratching their heads wondering what I've been up to...well, not much. I've been working on my campaign for mother-of-the-year by doing more with Dylan. I suddenly have the capacity to spontaneously go to the Children's Museum, play with other kids, etc and it has been a miracle. I think Dylan's liking it though.

Other than that, found this place that will print my Cumby for Prez shirts for a nominal fee: and Jason got excited too. These guys have onesies and toddler sizes too, so it is on. Unfortunately it is for 2008 and I am ineligible to run because of age (among other minor issues) but I might as well get the buzz going. Here's the link to the foundation of my 2016 campaign, assuming we aren't sitting in a pile of rubble: Personally, by then I think we're going all Grapes of Wrath and we're all going to be living out of our cars as we travel for work with the way the economy is going.

Andrea came in for her birthday celebration - Happy Birthday,Sis!! My brother tried his best to ruin the night by simply existing, but luckily we make him a source of laughter for us all. I never air his dirty laundry on my blog out of courtesy, but geez louise is it taking restraint these days. But as he hijacks every aspect of our lives, he has hijacked this paragraph. It was Andrea's birthday and we have a good ol time. My mom drank too much and had diahrea of the mouth, but it was otherwise fun chatting all around. We also had a yummy breakfast the next day (El Tiempo brunch = fab), the girls hit Ann Taylor Loft (I=broke) and met the boys at the bowling alley where they were doing rock and bowl at like noon on a Sunday. If you don't know rock and bowl, it is usually rock music, black lights and strobe lights with drunk and high teens wandering aimlessly around. On Sunday it is Hannah Montana videos, black lights, strobe lights, and little kids -- let's just say i don't think anyone dropped acid just to bowl there on a Sun morn like the traditional followers of rock and bowl. Here's a pic of Andrea, her girls (thanks for that shirt!) and Dylan (the hijacker of all candles burning):

2008-02-09 Andrea Bday Night 004

Monday, February 04, 2008

Cleaning Up

Gotta do it...I cleaned up some of the links on the side. Some links were no longer working or were invitation only, so if I erased you and shouldn't have just let me know. I also added the new Dt members over at SO because I need to get to know them and what better way than to spy on them.

Congrats new members! I will use this as an excuse to post this fun pic:

Other than that, business as usual at the Cumby abode. Got a new treadmill that arrived this morning, think I decided to vote for Obama in March when voting takes place in Texas, and thinking I will need to go to Three Brothers Bakery this week for a King's cake...also, kudos to Jason for pushing the pacifier issue. Dylan was using them to sleep and Jason wanted to end it. Really was only one night of Hell, one night of semi-purgatory and no big deal since. So go Daddy!