Checking in...

I started to create a post on Wednesday, but my computer at work ate it. On Wednesday, progress reports were gue for all 150 of my kids, and the servers were shockingly overloaded. I spent an hour twiddling my thumbs and working on my blog, and then on top of that it ate my blog. Or I accidently closed it out in rage as a result of still being at the school at 7 pm working in grades. No telling.

We just finished the fourth week of school and my sixth week back being an employed member of society. I am shocked at how easily I went back to work; I don't feel like suddenly I have no time to myself or I can't get things done and I hardly remember what having four months of free time felt like. I think it was a dream, though I do have some pictures to prove it happened. People keep asking me how I like teaching and I think it is a multi-layered answer.

First layer: I love 90% of my kids. I am amazed every day at what I discover about these kids and I honestly believe that this breed is a million times better that the teens I knew (or was) in high school. As I've read their college essays and discussed things with them, I've gotten to know them and I am sort of beside myself. They are intelligent, insightful, well-rounded, worldly, good kids. Now keep in mind, I teach IB (International Baccaulerate) English, which is going to usher in the more intelligent and insightful, but wow. So many of them have been around the world, living in other countries by themselves or with their families, speaking other languages and over and over I hear from them that their experience teaches them the American way is not the only way and that other cultures should be experienced and appreciated. All I can think is that the President of the United States hasn't had that epiphany yet, and a seventeen year old has! Though sometimes they make me want to cut on myself (all their insightful thinking can't seem to not to lead to loud talking out of turn), I can imagine that I will cry at the end of the year when I see them all go off into the proverbial sunset.

Second layer: the work part. Ugh. Grading 150 of everything sucks. Telling kids that their work sucks sucks. Giving bad grades suck, and in turn giving fair grades sucks. Having all this run into all of my free time at home super duper sucks.

Third layer: the red tape nightmare that is administration. I am biased, I will admit. I come from a large bank that is so monitored by government regulations and duty to stockholders that every "i" is dotted and every "t" is crossed. Schools are supposed to be as well, but ehhhh. I am used to sending and receiving prompt emails, having binders and online sites that document specific processes for every single thing, and a 1-800 number to ask anything and everything that crosses my mind. Let's just say that the administration is a sort of "fly by the seat of your pants" type of thing. I needed a hall pass, for example. The kids have to have them to go to the restroom, but one never magically appeared in my mailbox, as I was assured. Since I don't have a classroom, I float, and was already told by one teacher that my kids were not to use hers (wtf not?!) I spent days trying to find the elusive person who must have a closet full of these little red pieces of plastic. During the fourth week, I lucked out and a counselor gave me one that the choir teacher had left back in February of last year. Don't you know I covered that thing with ribbon and stars? It might as well be a diamond necklace for how closely I will hold on to it. Now imagine that every single mundane task has a story like this. You can imagine how much gets done.

In conclusion, I love it and hate it all at once. The fact that this is my first year and I am still getting certified takes over my personal time even more, and I think if time felt more manageable, it would all be good. I have eighty million people from the school and district wanting to have meetings and observations to"support" me, but I think we have crossed the line from support to smothering. My free periods are eaten up by meetings and clusters and I watch my after school time get eaten up as a result. But when I get into third period and one of my students asks me to check my email and I have an email that says "3rd period loves you! -all of 3rd" that one of the boys has sent over his cell phone after I put my email on the whiteboard, then I smile and know I am where I need to be right now.