Saturday, August 26, 2006

TJ Hooky

Have I ever told you about my year in kindergarten? The answer is no I haven't because why would it come up, but it is now time to share. When I was in kindergarten, I was positive that my teacher (Ms. Eubanks, you wretched wench) was a witch and far as I can tell she never proved me wrong. Well, as a result of her witchy ways I would pretty much do anything not to attend her classes. My mom found me hiding in the bushes once after the bus had left, I was always not feeling well and either coming into school late or serving as a permanent fixture in the nurse's office. I remember the time she came to retrieve me from the nurse's office with a footlong kitchen knife. Granted, she was coming to let me know the class was carving the pumpkin, but I knew somewhere in her house were kindergartners that she carved on for sheer joy. I had attended all day preschool at the same Catholic school with no problems, so it was all her.

Well, everyone swears that your kids pay you back for the things you do to your parents, and so I figured Dylan would play this card at some point. Tuesday he was sent home with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease (wtf?) and bounced between Jason and the grandmas all week since the school whose carrier monkey babies infected him would not take care of him. I am certain that he has figured out the system and may have possibly ordered samples of the virus on the internet just to get out of school. I didn't watch him at all since I still barely can handle my classes and still don't get the system for subs yet. Anyways, I just want to acknowledge that it is starting and that I hope that Dylan waits to start smoking pot until at least first grade. I know we've got some stuff coming to us, but please not all at once.

One last grudge with Ms. Eubanks, at some point she built a teepee and let two kids a day take their nap in it. I was not a napper, so I would silently lay there. Well, since I didn't actually sleep, she never let me sleep in it, and even started repeating good kids. Whatta skank.

By the way, I had my first student public interaction today. A kid caught me trying on Vans at Journey's in the ghetto mall. I grabbed the size I needed but it was the ugliest print, so I quickly tried to explain that I knew how ugly the shoes I was wearing were. Plus, I couldn't remember his name (though it hit me in the car), so I felt all rude not properly introducing him to Jason and Dylan. I can officially feel like a teacher since hearing "Mrs. Cumberland!" in the mall...

8 comments:

Kache said...

I did not appreciate my kindergarten teacher either, she made sure me and my "BFF" were never in the same class together again.
My friend's kid had hand foot mouth toe elbow disease or whatever it is last year. I thought she had made it up at first.
Hope Dylan doesn't learn to fake a sore throat until at least next year!

Breana said...

wth is hand, foot, toe...diesease? i'm with Krystn, hope he doesn't catch on before next year!

shannon said...

hope the little one is better soon!
a teepee? seriously?

Heather said...

hmm... teepees in K sound like a recipe for playing "Doctor" to me... good thing you stayed awake...

Hope Pickle's feeling better, Mrs. Cumberland!

Rita said...

Wait until you read the post I wrote today about Jackson. Haven't posted yet b/c I'm trying to upload pics to go with it. Anyway, Jackson is a permanent fixture in the nurse's office although so far he hasn't come home with foot and mouth whatever it is but I'm sure it's only b/c he doesn't yet know what the symptoms are in order to fake it.

Too funny about running into a student at the mall. Hope they don't catch you pounding back a few at the local Ninfa's. :-) Not that you frequent Ninfa's but I couldn't come up with another place...

Lisa said...

Awww, poor kiddo. That hand, mouth, foot stuff is yucko. Hope he's getting better.

Congrats on the first public sighting, I'm sure there have been much worse sightings. Try being a youth leader doing shots at Dave & Busters for your birthday and in walks your confirmation students! LOL

Tiffany said...

Hope he is feeling better!! I have already told my parents that I am sorry for anything I did while I was growing up!!!! KIDS!!!!

KJ said...

Aw, the Hand Foot Mouth disease. Yep, been that route when Mara was in daycare. Lovely. Man, what a traumatic experience kindergarten was...who knew that a k teacher could be so awful?! And, I'm ROFL at Lisa!