TJ Hooky

Have I ever told you about my year in kindergarten? The answer is no I haven't because why would it come up, but it is now time to share. When I was in kindergarten, I was positive that my teacher (Ms. Eubanks, you wretched wench) was a witch and far as I can tell she never proved me wrong. Well, as a result of her witchy ways I would pretty much do anything not to attend her classes. My mom found me hiding in the bushes once after the bus had left, I was always not feeling well and either coming into school late or serving as a permanent fixture in the nurse's office. I remember the time she came to retrieve me from the nurse's office with a footlong kitchen knife. Granted, she was coming to let me know the class was carving the pumpkin, but I knew somewhere in her house were kindergartners that she carved on for sheer joy. I had attended all day preschool at the same Catholic school with no problems, so it was all her.

Well, everyone swears that your kids pay you back for the things you do to your parents, and so I figured Dylan would play this card at some point. Tuesday he was sent home with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease (wtf?) and bounced between Jason and the grandmas all week since the school whose carrier monkey babies infected him would not take care of him. I am certain that he has figured out the system and may have possibly ordered samples of the virus on the internet just to get out of school. I didn't watch him at all since I still barely can handle my classes and still don't get the system for subs yet. Anyways, I just want to acknowledge that it is starting and that I hope that Dylan waits to start smoking pot until at least first grade. I know we've got some stuff coming to us, but please not all at once.

One last grudge with Ms. Eubanks, at some point she built a teepee and let two kids a day take their nap in it. I was not a napper, so I would silently lay there. Well, since I didn't actually sleep, she never let me sleep in it, and even started repeating good kids. Whatta skank.

By the way, I had my first student public interaction today. A kid caught me trying on Vans at Journey's in the ghetto mall. I grabbed the size I needed but it was the ugliest print, so I quickly tried to explain that I knew how ugly the shoes I was wearing were. Plus, I couldn't remember his name (though it hit me in the car), so I felt all rude not properly introducing him to Jason and Dylan. I can officially feel like a teacher since hearing "Mrs. Cumberland!" in the mall...