Doomsday is here...

Wah, I started work today. No more sitting in my pj's forever. The hotel that today's events were at was so nasty, it was some sort of hotel that is becoming a Crown Plaza but is currently a Skank and Sleep or something. I don't even know if anyone was able to stay there, but there was a stack of about thirty to forty used mattresses stacked on the side of the building that I wish I had my camera for. Oh, to think of the stories that accompany those shady rooms across from the sports stadiums. Lots and lots of renting the rooms by the hour is my guess. I don't need a black light wand to crack that case... taxpayers, rest assured that the local school district is not wasting your money on up to health standards facilities for training.

Anyways, the day was dullerama, but I got to see all the new hires for my high school and saw some peeps I liked. I also discovered that K-1 teachers are insane. Seriously, where do these people come from? The people are either so pure in nature that I have to think they have moonbeams and sunshine running through their veins or they are these clique-ish skanks who think they are so cool for teaching kindergarten and believe they are so awesome and amazing and that everyone else sucks. It gave me the urge to remind them that I needed a lot more college credits to teach Senior IB English as opposed to Beginner Fingerpainting like them, but that just isn't nice. Elementary teacher bloggers, do not hate on me, these girls were mean. I think the moonbeam peeps are cool and while I have nothing in common with them, I can give them a pat on the shoulder and look forward to them teaching Dylan Boo, but the others can rot. Please, elementary teacher bloggers, do not hate on me. It was like being in high school again but having the wisdom to know that these chicks are retarded and who cares. I was thrilled when they separated us by what grades we were teaching and I got to hang out with cynical, attitudinal people of my own caliber. Let the schmack talking commence

Jason's sick and I saw him using a thermometer. We all know the Spongebob one is for anal use, but he grabbed a Dylan armpit one and it was hanging out of his mouth. I got a laugh for that, even though Dylan's armpits are fresh as peaches.

Also, Shannon's questions...

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes, as well as by the lovely female security guard at JC Penney who gave this 15 year old a nice under the bra rub to check for merchandise. Innocent both times, but hilarious to watch my mom go on a "Julia Sugarbaker" on the security people when she found out what they did to this sweet minor child.

2. Do you close your eyes on a roller coaster?
No way, I love to see everything

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Uh, never. What does snow look like? This was our last blizzard a couple Christmas' ago...


4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I will never sleep in the same room as my drunk brother again...ask me about Cancun when he was too drunk to remember he was in a room with my mom and me and got naked on his bed to sleep-on top of the covers (side note- always remove the comforter, you don't know who there last)

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Can't decide.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I do.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Hell yes. But that question is so 15 years ago...

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Tough call. In the Pitt debacle, Jen got screwed, but I like Jolie too. Please don't make me decide, it is like choosing a favorite child, or at least choosing which one to sell to the circus

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report, I am clearly well informed.


10. Do you know how to play poker?
I play tripoli occassionally with the Kellers, but luckily Heather makes cheat sheets so I know what to do to score - yeah, I suck

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
No, we used to call staying up all night "wedging" and by two the next day you were pretty skanky. Especially if it was chemically induced, ugh

12. What's your favorite commercial?
I don't get to watch many because of TiVo, but I like the Huggies commercial where the baby is acting like a bodybuilder. "Stretch!"

13. Who was your first love?
I'm in luv with a stripper...oops, that's a song. I guess real love is Jason.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No because that's when I discover someone was around and now their car is wedged in mine and I am bleeding.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Now if I tell you, that will no longer be true...

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Who cares, bleh sports

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes, Houston Galleria several times, once on a lame-o date

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
All the time. Mine are so graphic that I wake up with headaches from thinking too hard. I had one the other morning where I was in some situation with George Clooney where we were working together and he really was flirting with me hardcore and I was trying to ignore him so I didn't cheat on Jason. I was just starting to crack and DYLAN STARTS CRYING and wakes me up!!!! I will remember this when he is 13 and trying to kiss some girl (or guy, who knows) and I will start screaming at the window to destroy the tender moment.

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
I really need to update my iPod, need to clean up the crap

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes

21. What talent do you wish you had?
I want to have an amazing metabolism (gosh, she eats and eats and never gains weight!) and play the piano masterfully

22. Do you like Sushi?
Not really

23. What do you wear to bed?
Girl boxers and a tank

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
Nah, but I will trash a lot of people with all my might just for the laugh

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
My list is a "who's who" of hot hollywood peeps

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
I am sure with the circles I've traveled that I sure do. My family tree alone will probably get me at least one person...

27. What food do you find disgusting?
When people smoke at the table and ash into their food, I would prefer to puke than stand ten feet from it.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Absolutely. And would still be devestated if they did it to me.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Eh, maybe in some form.

Where the posts at?

Where has everyone been? Slow posting, girls! I just checked out the boodle blogs and some of you haven't posted since July 3rd (you know who you are, girl!)

Anywho, I will use this opportunity to fulfill some taggings...

from Bre and Shannon:

7 people that I admire
- Jason (he's my duplicate, so it is like self admiration)
- Dylan (he tries something new everyday like it ain't no thing)
- My mom (she has always tried to do the best for us, even if she made some questionable decisions at some times)
- My dad and Jason's dad who we both think of who are our dads and who are actually guys who married our moms, divorced them and then had the balls to stay in our lives by choice, unlike the men who dumped their sperm in our moms and said see ya. That counts as two people
- Jason's little cousin is like ten and she had open heart surgery a couple weeks ago. She recovered awesomely in between playing dressup and being a kid. To think I was pure drama about going to get a TB test a couple weeks ago...
- All my girls. I have had a pretty easy life, all things considered and when I think of what some of my friends have been through, I really admire how they've grown because of those things. People have a choice to repeat those things or thrive despite, and I have picked a lot of girls who choose to thrive. Some of them are repeat offenders, but I think they haven't given up yet

7 things I say often
- Saaaad!!!
- No, Dylan!
- Yay!
- Ugh
- That's effen...
- Really?
- Love you

7 things I cannot do
- play piano, it is next on my things to learn
- stop complaining
- not talk schmack
- listen to Dylan scream
- slow my mind down
- make myself keep a clean home
- learn dance moves

7 things you might not know about me
- I am from Baton Rouge, LA
- I was a Catholic school girl when I lived in LA
- I could eat desserts and carbs all day long
- My real father OD'd in front of me when I was in second grade, rehab did not stick
- I secretly wish I was a teenager and I watch too much MTV and teen movies.
- I spend too much time lurking on myspace
- My dream job would involve me and Jason writing for television in Hollywood or NYC

7 movies I enjoyed
- South Park, Bigger Longer and Uncut
- Seven (I thought it was so clever at the time)
- Goodfellas and Casino (my guinea brat roots)
- American History X
- Josie and the Pussycats
- Kevin Smith movies minus Jersey Girl
- my little one minute home movies of dylan

7 things I wish I could change in my life
- my life is perfect

7 books I have read and would read again
- The Reader by Bernard Schlink
- Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey, though I could never read it again
- Kate Chopin books and stories, love the Louisiana feel
- enjoy the Kay Scarpetta books by Patricia Cornwell
- America the Book by Jon Stewart
- enjoyed the Girlfriends Guide, just started the Toddler one
- anything I have time for

7 people who should do this!
- Jesus, if he isn't busy
- Elvis, if he isn't eating
- yo mama
- Boodles
- someone famous
- someone infamous
- you

And Krystn's:

10 things I would do if I won the lotto:
1. Buy two lots in Memorial and build a house for my mom and Jim on one and ours on the other. We would share a backyard with a huge pool and all a la "Big Love," minus the poligamy
2. Travel like crazy
3. Hire people to cook and clean for me
4. Still drive a Prius, but get another one to replace our Blazer (I'll do that anyway when Big Blue dies)
5. Open a scrap store and hire someone to run it so I could come in and out as I want
6. Have a loft in NYC and in CA for when we felt like it
7. Lipo and tummy tuck and I would keep going back for the lipo because we would eat so well while traveling
8. Have a full photography studio built so I could develop my skills, prolly next to the scrap store so we could do classes there
9. Buy a huge, gorgeous piano and really learn to play it
10.Not tell anyone

Lazy Sunday

Well, the family came over on Sunday - Grandma Shelley and Grandpa Jim, Uncle Bryan and Matthew. Matthew and Dylan are seven months apart, but weigh the same. Matthew is like a bag of flour to carry around. Check it out, Dylan is trying to teach him how bulimia can help him lose weight and feel great:


Uncle Bryan brought Dylan his bday gift which was clothes and PJ's from Old Navy. I really loved Old Navy pj's for kids, and I guess Bryan had a hard time finding the perfect thing. He accidently ended up grabbing a girl's nightgown with flowers and butterflies on it, and was of course mortified. He swore it was for boys, but the little bow on the front finally convinced him of the truth. Jason and I make fun of everything in the world and never worry about it, so of course I put that dress on the kid. It embarrassed Bryan more than Dylan though:


What else, what else? I am making myself sick knowing that I have to start working July 31st. The part that really sucks is that I am pretty much working August for free the way it all happens. The first week is three days of unpaid, mandatory training and the next two will allow us to have the entire week of Thanksgiving off. I will get one paycheck actually in August, it will be a partial and if I am lucky I will be able to cover day care. So this is what working for a government agency is like, sigh. All my dreams falling into place... lotto ticket, anyone? At least I will be getting two weeks of hanging out in the school environment before the kids arrive, have mercy on their souls...

No fair!

I am sure there are thousands of former Enron employees right now pissed that this guy died:

Ken Lay appears to have died of a heart attack at the prospect of actually going to prison. I bet that some of the Enron employees who lost their pensions may hope to die early of heart attacks since he left them high and dry for their retirement years. Anyways, what a wuss. Dying isn't fair here, he should have lived long enough to have all his riches taken from him and be put in his little orange jumpsuit to be sodomized by his bunkmate Bruno when he drops his government issued soap.

On a happier note, I have dedicated July to not purchasing anything scrappy (adhesives do not count, I did need glue) which was kickstarted by a certain site using their own same crummy paper line three times in 18 months. I skipped for the first time and was suddenly free to pursue my stash. To up the ante, I won't let myself shop anywhere either for the rest of the month and it has been surprisingly freeing. I don't have to check out the sales or buy something because I am in the neighborhood, but I am using up the stuff I have around. This was four different lines of paper from el stasho. It has been good, but I hope there is a mucher cooler kit available next month for me to stack up in my cart


Still discovering new things on my camera too. Heather's friend Heather took a pic like this and I asked Heather how she altered it. She said her camera had a function to take the pic like that and I saw through Flickr that it was a Canon so I took a chance that mine could do it - and it could. Check out this color isolation thing, awesome. I am trying to make myself maximize the potential of my camera before I buy another, and it has been a good decision.


Finally in my longest post ever... to Heather's little orangatan coconut baby, here's my onion boy: