Before I forget...

I can't believe I haven't already posted this but I stumbled onto Facebook (picture my head hung down in shame) and I am just coming out of my daze. I posted this on there but realized you guys needed to see this too.

I have a little Justin Timberlake crush going on right now - great music, funny guy - and last week's episode of SNL put it over the edge. I will warn you, don't check this out if there's a chance you'll be offended because it is, well, kind of offensive. But so hot a la Color Me Badd or All 4 One from the early ninetees...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5grqhj1b8

Let this be a lesson that you should cautiously open presents from hobos and ask them to hold the gifts away from their body.

Hilarious video though. See, I like JT for his personality too. Don't ever call me shallow. And don't open that box...

My ears are too old

In class today, I was teaching what is destined to go down in the record books as one of the best ever since I had someone observing me. As soon as that woman left, you could see the relief in the kids' eyes and the desire to dump all things Silas Marner. One of my jokesters did something I could not see or hear and all the kids began to screetch at him and tell him to stop. I asked what was going on, and the kids looked at me wide eyed. "You can't hear that, Mrs. Cumby?" (I know, not the best nickname I've ended up with). I couldn't and asked him to do it again. Again, nothing. Here's where I realize I must be the butt of some joke and that the kids are making a mockery of me, despite the fact that I thought they liked me. The kids' claim was that they had a cell phone ring that only kids could hear and that old people over 40 couldn't. I said, "But I'm only 27" (28? I don't remember and I don't want to do math right now) Then I realized God was the one playing the mean joke on me when I read this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/12/technology/12ring.html?ex=1165035600&en=ba67bc7c170a7a51&ei=5070

Basically, a company created a device to annoy teens that adults couldn't hear to run off vagrant hobo kids hanging outside places. But some kid got smart and made it into a cell phone ring and they all can use it in class while the old fogies (yup, that would include me) keep going without knowing. Just when I was feeling better about getting old, this happens...

My 100th post

Oh, they've all been great posts too, haven't they? I got tagged, so my post won't be nearly as fab as it should be considering it is my 100th, but oh well. BTW, tomorrow is my last day of work before a week of VACATION!!! That rocks! Pray for me to actually get something done next week so I can salvage some amount of self esteem...

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:15, with a 5 minute return to bed with Jason to cuddle around 6:45 for warmth (per his request) That's right, Jason, the secret is OUT.
2. Diamonds or Pearls? Now this reminds me of when Heather and I were still managers and we were at a conference and she got to tell this 45-year old manager who married her high school sweetheart what a pearl necklace was. Nice. That said, my pearls were stolen in the last break-in, so I am sticking with my diamond ring and that's it.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Skeleton Key with my mom and stepdad. What can I say, it has been awhile.
4. What is your favorite TV show? 24. South Park. Sesame Street's zombie creating powers.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Peanut butter and jelly on toast, like everyday.
6. What is your middle name? Marie, just like everyone else from the 70's. Heather, can I get a shoutout?
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian, but I never get good italian anymore.
8. What foods do you dislike? I have been trying to be open minded lately. But Indian food is truly awful, truly.
9. Your favorite potato chip? French Onion Sunchips
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? What's a CD?
11. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Prius ($16 to fill the tank and goes 400 miles, sucka).
12. Favorite Sandwich? I eat a turkey and cheddar sandwich on toast with mayo everyday
13. What characteristics do you despise? Irresponsibility on a million different levels
14. What are your favorite clothes? Skinny clothes when they fit - can I get a Hell Yeah?
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it
be? Hmm. I'd like to tour Europe and have time to visit all the churches, museums, etc.
16. What color are your eyes? Brown.
17. Favorite brand of clothing? No label whore here.
18. Where would you want to retire? Right where I am with my family and friends close by.
19. Favorite time of day? 7-9 pm.
20. Where were you born? Baton Rouge, LA (not that far from Britney...)
21. What is your favorite sport to watch? I hate sports
22. Who do you think will not send this back? Everyone already seems on the ball
23. Person you expect to send it back first? I'm not tagging
24. Pepsi or Coke? Coke of the diet variety
25. Cats or Dogs? I think neither in the future
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I can sleep from 9 pm to 9 am. What does that make me, other than lazy?
27. Pedicure or manicure? Getting my first pedi with HK next week
28. Do you prefer funny or mushy cards? Funny.
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I'm pregnant. Not really, but I thought that would get people's attention
30. What did you want to be when you were little? A pediatrician
31. What do you have in your trunk right now? A stroller and an emergency kit
32. What is your best childhood memory? Getting to spend so much time with family in Baton Rouge. I was always with my grandparents and aunts, and moving away was devestating
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? fast food, bakery, laser tag facilitator, cookie maker, telemarketer, assistant to an interior decorator, waitress, teller, bank officer, asst mgr, bank mgr, indentured servitude (sahm for longer than i could handle) and a high school english teacher
34. Favorite Holiday? Thanksgiving. It has the food and the family without the gift obligations
35. What is your favorite dessert? Chocolate and rice krispie treats
36. Favorite Summer getaway? I like family stuff wherever there's cool air
37. Ever been to Africa ? No.
38. Glasses or Contacts? Glasses, but I usually do the best I can with my eyes
39. Ever been toilet papering? Yes, of course
40. Been in a car accident? Lots
41. Favorite day of the week? Saturday, one day of weekend left after that one
42. Favorite restaurant? hard to just have one...
43. Favorite flower? Love em all. Pretty, pretty
44. Favorite movies? Josie and the Pussycats, South Park, American Beauty
45. Favorite Pastime? Scrapping and playing on the computer
46. Favorite ice cream? Baskin Robbins Mint Chocolate Chip
47. Favorite fast food restaurant? Jack in the Box
48. How many times did you fail your drivers test? Never.
49. From whom did you get your last email? Heather
50. Sandals or tennis shoes? Flip flops
51. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Anyone who knows me knows I could never max a card. Never.
52. If the speed limit is 60 what is the fastest you will drive? 64.
53. Bedtime? Around 11:00.
54. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? I only care about myself
55. Last person you went to dinner with? Jason
56. What are you listening to right now? My Name is Earl is playing
57. What is your favorite color? Blue or burgandy
58. How may tattoos do you have? None, but ten various holes
59. How many people are you sending this Email to? Nada
60. What time did you finish this email? 7:58 pm

In heroic couplets a la Caterbury Tales

I am home with a sick boy (yay calling in sick!) and thought I should post something. I am trying to waste time as not to read my book for school, so I will write my post in heroic couplets with iambic pentameter in tribute to the Canterbury Tales. If you don't remember the story from HS (I didn't) it is a bunch of travelers together on a pilgrimage to Canterbury. We had the kids do a modern pilgrim in the same style of Chaucer (10 syllables per line, AA BB rhyme scheme, etc), so my pilgrim will be the Blogger. Be sad for me and enjoy, and assume all insults are self directed.

And on our journey the Blogger there was
Typing away the day and night because
The people of the world wide web must be
Just on pins and needles waiting to see
The mundane happenings of this girl's life
The laundry, the family, oh what strife.

It is Monday morning, and she is there
Laptop in lap, Diet Coke next to chair
And she is off. Tappity tap tap tap
Her thoughts are out, wisdom hidden in crap.
Tales of the weekend, and the week ahead
Those reports are due, those meetings to dread
Such random musings from one woman's head
"Did you see last night's Desparate Housewives?
The bloodshed was gunshots, this time not knives
I wanted Nora to go, but I hope
Lynette feels no blame, it was that big dope
Of a woman who did it, and that speech
that Lynette gave to her thus, let that teach
People to self pity and let rage out
In the supermarket, without a doubt."

She moves on to talk of holiday plans
Thanksgiving turkeys, stuffing and bread pans
That will quickly become pine trees and snow
Snow in Houston? It's a joke, you know!
Decorating her home, buying gifts
Thinking of her loved ones, her spirit lifts
And she makes lists of gifts she must go buy
It all must be perfect, nothing awry

On and on she goes, and typing away
Who really cares, one cannot help but say
As they read this post, and comment at length
Then move on to their blog, with equal strength
Of words and content, as useless as these
Make sure to leave a comment, pretty please
So bloggers know that it is not in jest
"My blog is important, not like the rest."

I know, next time I should fight the urge. Jason saw some book about daily blog challenges and it made me think it was okay to do something this dumb. Perhaps I should rethink that.

Vote for Brandy's next career

Yeah, I don't think I want to do this again next year. I assure you that I have no regrets for having taken a leap of faith and having tried something new and this has had some really high moments. But I no longer get to have a sense of personal time, just grading that goes until midnight and the weekends. What is the use of summer off if this is my life right now? I know that the program I teach makes it an even bigger challenge, but I sense that it is for the student's benefit that I teach this way and I don't want to half ass it. So I think I will no ass it and bow out in May.

I know that it seems to early to make such a decision, and maybe in May I will totally change my mind, but I doubt it. I love my kids, but they will leave and then I will have a totally different batch. The whole thing is exhausting. If I am going to give up so much time, I need to be back making the bigger bucks. I did realize talking to Jason though that the difference between working my tail off here as opposed to the bank is that I do feel like I am busting my hump for a noble cause as opposed to spinning my wheels for the benefit of Dick K to have a third yacht. That makes is good, but just not good enough.

So I open the polls, write in your vote for what Brandy should be after the summer is over and I may try it out!

Check's in the mail

Today is the one month anniversary of being robbed and with just a tad bit of bullying, Jason was able to get the dumb dumb at Allstate to commit to a number and promise a check in the mail. It will be enough to pay for the new laptops we already received weeks ago as well as go out and get me a new iPod and Canon Rebel. So aside from sentimental jewelry gone, the robbery has afforded us the opportunity to simply upgrade. Yay for that.

More school chat: senior pranks have begun and they are hilarious. It all started when Ms. Elvira (code name for the fattie psycho who told the kids she dresses as a vampire, goes to sci fi conventions and is proud of her gamer status) mentioned to her kids that at her old school the kids would do spontaneous funny things and too bad they didn't. Then she had a stroke of amnesia and forgot she ever made the challenge. So when they started spontaneously showing up in her class to shake their bon bons in front of the class and run, she was furious. She's an idiot.

This is an IB thing and out of 200 IB kids, I have 150 of them. These are my kids running wild and it turns out occassionally leaving "for the bathroom" to do it. Like I care. They told me they were hitting more classes and when they hit my class they need to step up their game. I got my wish on Wednesday.

Wednesday was senior breakfast and an absolute waste of time. Those kids didn't come inside the building until after 12, so imagine how much work they were up to. 8th period rolls around and we'd spent the first 30 minutes "having a party" and were about to start our work when a ruckus in the hall is heard. My kids force me in the room, bringing me to the realization that we were getting our visit. A tall boy I didn't know came into the room with a jambox a la John Cusack in Say Anything and started playing it on his shoulder. Loud dance music boomed out and four boys burst into the room like soldiers on a mission. They tore off their uniformed shirts and threw them across the room and underneath wore white shirts that said "Man Zone." Yes, I know how gay that sounds, but it was their choice. Then they proceed to dance for about 45 seconds in Chippendale's style, and that image is burned into my retina. I sense that I could fired for even seeing the dirty dancing, so I covered my eyes in self preservation. Then as quickly as it began, they marched out, sticking "Man Zone" signs on the walls as they left. We laughed so hard, and then one boy came and did the walk of shame to collect their shirts. I handed him the pile as he worked his hardest to avoid eye contact.

Yes, your child too could have a public education like this... and I can hardly wait to see what they are going to do to top that one...

Happy two month anniversary!

One of my students today let me know that we had reached my two month milestone of teaching and congratulated me on this momentous day with a card and special gift. Touched by the sentiment, I ripped into the shiny paper and was ecstatic to see a copy of "Josie and the Pussycats" with Rachel Leight Cook, Rosario Dawson and Tara Reid.

Am I serious about that level of passion? Oh yes, I love that movie. When we were talking in class about my robbery (hey, I have 90 minutes to fill and Canterbury Tales doesn't always stretch far enough), the conversation turned to my previous robbery. The first robbery was a DVD player and 50 DVD's, including the stunning title I previously mentioned. I had to confess that I **love** that movie and missed it more than Casino, Goodfellas and the other fine movies that celebrate my 1/2-1/4 Italian heritage.

So then I was doubly happy to see that this meant that this guy listened to my class enough to pick up on that, and felt like my ecstasy could only be topped if he had actually learned something that might be on the IB exam. As far as I know, Mrs. Cumberland's misfortunes will not be a selection for the oral commentary, but I will check on that.

The highlights from the card from my fab 8th period - they use big words because this is the smarty pants class:
...what is the purpose of this thank you note? The answer to this is simple. First of all, the card embodies the class' appreciation that you're our IB English teacher, instead of (no good teacher here)...we wouldn't want to be in our comrades' predicament of having to listen to him blather insessently throughout the entire class and we are also grateful that you do not religiously practice witchcraft like (crazy woman here), as she asserts. Basically we are thankful of our luck that our counselors decided to arrange our schedule so we could be in your class (and this next part means he learned from our unit on One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich) just like Shukhov was fortunate not to end up at the Socialist Development Center thanks to Tiurin's shrewd ways.

Secondly, the letter serves to congratulate you for maintaining a sanity level and affable character after the first two months of teaching...Anyways, we commend you for not going home every night and sobbing in the corner while watching the Real World or South Park with 9 quarts of Ben and Jerry's and wishing you hadn't renounced your position at the bank as branch manager"

Moments like that are the only reason I stay, and I think it says a lot about my character than I censor myself enough that he doesn't know I go home and cut on myself with razor blades to relieve the pressures of the day. Oh sweet blood. Kidding, of course. But it does really suck sometimes. And so I cut...

Speaking of blood, when we flew to Philly, Jason and the other teacher we were with saw this priest who was on the flight. He had a crucifix the size of Dylan and blood all on his white robe. Jason and this teacher were pretty obsessed with the guy. I was just freaked out to make fun of him in my head since right after I dissed God's aim in this blog, he possibly made a display of showing off his mad skills by allowing my house to be robbed. Blasphemy, I know, but at least I am not so much a lost soul as not to consider his grand power and his retribution for my actions. My mind is still slightly ajar, and especially since I know what to expect when Bush and Cheney usher in the Rapture. Anyways, I could argue that two other houses were robbed in the same spree and so the skills may not be so mad, but I do not need to anger the Man Upstairs again.

Robbed...again

Friday I picked Dylan up from school and he and I headed home to prepare for our trip to Denver. We got to the house and as the garage door was opening, I took my time getting Dylan and I out of the car. I saw that the door from the house was open, but didn't think much of it because it doesn't close well and it ends up open half the time. As I got closer to the doorway, I noticed that the cabinets were open in the mud room. Good, maybe Jason was looking for the title to the truck his mom had found a buyer for that same day. At that moment, my eyes took in the rest of the scene and I realized that we had been robbed...again.

I will start by saying that I took it all in fairly calmly at first because I expected it. Do you ever get that feeling that something is going to happen and then you are relieved because you no longer have to wait for it? That's how I felt, like we'd been hit and that was the worst of it. I set Dylan down with his toys, next to the entertainment center pulled away from the wall so that the thieves could get the X-box out. I noticed both laptops were gone, cameras, etc. and continued to assure myself that these were just things and that they were absolutely replacable (and with better models at that!)

What things do you keep in your bedroom that you don't want the world to see? We've got some stuff, and there is no feeling like seeing these, um, things tossed to the side by some strangers who totally violated your space. My bras and panties were all over the place and I sighed as the emotion came into my throat. My Grandmother's pearls had been found and taken. My mom had given them to me to wear for my wedding and I never bothered to give them back. They had escaped unharmed last time and that should have made it a priority to give them back, but I guess I assumed I had hit my robbery quota and forgot. Then I went into Dylan's room.

Dylan's room is very clearly a baby's room. If the crib isn't a clue, then maybe the A-B-C books or rocking horse could be an effective tool in figuring that out. Yet these criminals decided a baby's room was at least worth checking out. When I got to Dylan's dresser and saw that his sterling silver piggy bank was gone, that's when I got pissed and teary. Who the fuck is such a loser that they steal a baby's piggy bank?! Really, I'd like to know. Yeah, it had like $75 in it. It also had that little thing on the bottom to let the money out. Dylan got that from his grandparents for Christmas and I love polishing it and putting money in it (dollar coins only in that one). And now some meth head effing loser is trying to convince someone to give him $5 for it after he already bought some crank with the dollar coins. Effen loser.

So there's the drama. We couldn't decide whether or not to go to Denver, but after Continental promised to charge us $100 each to change it, we went. I didn't mention it before, but the thieves actually kicked in our front door to get it. Both of our parents were hear within minutes of finding out what happened. Paul and Karen went and rekeyed the doors and repaired the front door so that it would close, since the thieves had hit it with such force that the casing was splintered and hanging off and the hardware from the door had literally been thrown off the wood. My mom consoled me and assured me that the pearls (her mom's) had been through three robberies including her own and that they had finally simply been taken. Knowing our family would drop everything instantly to help us when we need them is a fantastic feeling, and it is a shame that it takes lows to make you the most aware of that.

There were two other similar front door break-in's in the neighborhood that same day. Suddenly every young minority who has been through the neighborhood to read a meter is being remembered by neighbors who had a bad feeling at the time and I doubt anything will come of it. My neighbor across the street was in the garage the whole time mine happened. We'll get an alarm, but what a crap-o feeling knowing someone came in and disrespected you and your family's space. My mom was really upset because she thinks I interupted them. That is up for debate, since they exited out the back door and one of my old school cameras was actually out of the bag and on the floor. Not a good feeling.

We will go ahead and get an alarm this time. I hate alarms and the lack of trust in the world that they imply, but my trust in the world keeps getting tested and I don't want anyone to get hurt next time. The whole thing is a shame, I hate that it puts value in the belief that the city is unsafe and that to have a shot at a safe place to raise your kids you have to move 30 miles from downtown.

But the thing I hate the most is that the thieves always take a pillowcase. The king sized one, which I had finally gotten around to replacing, and for what ever reason is a pain to replace. Just like last time, the duffle bags were in plain view, and yet they took the pillowcase...sigh.

Cow Parade - 5 years later!

We saw Cow Parade in Houston in September 2001 and now five years later we have started our journey to follow in around the United States and around the world. I can't wait to see where all the Cow Parade will go! This weekend we are hitting Denver, Colorado to see the bad boys and I will be loading pics soon!

Don't stand near me

because God could strike me down at any minute and it seems God has bad aim.

** warning, religious and political whining ahead** HK, knowing how religion is handled in my home, sent me a link to a book The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins which is an interesting look at how science has been undermined by those of, let's say, fanatical faith. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with any faith and I actually really respect any organized school of thought that exists to teach tolerance, love and the Golden Rule. But, those aren't the guys running the government and trying to change the laws of the United States. I honestly think it is great if you are a person of some faith and that is between you, JC and the G-man -- as long as you are not imposing your views on unwilling participants (like the nice gay couple down the road who want to be married). But check out what the author found that these loony toons have to say in the name of God...

"When I interviewed for television the Reverend Michael Bray, a prominent American anti-abortion activist, I asked him why evangelical Christians were so obsessed with private sexual inclinations such as homosexuality, which didn't interfere with anybody else's life. His reply invoked something like self-defence. Innocent citizens are at risk of becoming collateral damage when God chooses to strike a town with a natural disaster because it houses sinners. In 2005, the fine city of New Orleans was catastrophically flooded in the aftermath of a hurricane, Katrina. The Reverend Pat Robertson, one of America's best-known televangelists and a former presidential candidate, was reported as blaming the hurricane on a lesbian comedian who happened to live in New Orleans.* You'd think an omnipotent God would adopt a slightly more targeted approach to zapping sinners: a judicious heart attack, perhaps, rather than the wholesale destruction of an entire city just because it happened to be the domicile of one lesbian comedian."

Yes, everyone. Ellen caused Katrina and God has crapass aim. I wish I was omnipotent enough to throw down my reign of terror but too lazy to be choosy about who all I hit. The fact that Pat Robertson and Dubya are buddies really makes me feel good about the world Dylan will live in. Go team.

Birthday Bonanza

Sunday was the last day of my week long celebration of all things Brandy. Sunday before last, we went out to dinner with Mom, Jim, Bryan and Matthew at Maggiano's. That's what heaven tastes like, a four course meal:

After that, the week went on and it seemed every day was another bday adventure. My favorite was Tuesday when my 3rd period class brought this and a balloon in for me:

We had in-class parties every day and when I left school Thursday to head to the hotel for CKU, I had two cakes in hand! Good times for Brandy ahead!

CKU was a wonderful girls' weekend, especially when we "celebrated" my birthday over and over (that was Heather's constant excuse for urgent binge drinking). After I came home, my dad came over Sunday and we had the last celebration of the birthday year. Ice Cream cake from Baskin Robbins was an absolute must. What a great birthday week this was!

Checking in...

I started to create a post on Wednesday, but my computer at work ate it. On Wednesday, progress reports were gue for all 150 of my kids, and the servers were shockingly overloaded. I spent an hour twiddling my thumbs and working on my blog, and then on top of that it ate my blog. Or I accidently closed it out in rage as a result of still being at the school at 7 pm working in grades. No telling.

We just finished the fourth week of school and my sixth week back being an employed member of society. I am shocked at how easily I went back to work; I don't feel like suddenly I have no time to myself or I can't get things done and I hardly remember what having four months of free time felt like. I think it was a dream, though I do have some pictures to prove it happened. People keep asking me how I like teaching and I think it is a multi-layered answer.

First layer: I love 90% of my kids. I am amazed every day at what I discover about these kids and I honestly believe that this breed is a million times better that the teens I knew (or was) in high school. As I've read their college essays and discussed things with them, I've gotten to know them and I am sort of beside myself. They are intelligent, insightful, well-rounded, worldly, good kids. Now keep in mind, I teach IB (International Baccaulerate) English, which is going to usher in the more intelligent and insightful, but wow. So many of them have been around the world, living in other countries by themselves or with their families, speaking other languages and over and over I hear from them that their experience teaches them the American way is not the only way and that other cultures should be experienced and appreciated. All I can think is that the President of the United States hasn't had that epiphany yet, and a seventeen year old has! Though sometimes they make me want to cut on myself (all their insightful thinking can't seem to not to lead to loud talking out of turn), I can imagine that I will cry at the end of the year when I see them all go off into the proverbial sunset.

Second layer: the work part. Ugh. Grading 150 of everything sucks. Telling kids that their work sucks sucks. Giving bad grades suck, and in turn giving fair grades sucks. Having all this run into all of my free time at home super duper sucks.

Third layer: the red tape nightmare that is administration. I am biased, I will admit. I come from a large bank that is so monitored by government regulations and duty to stockholders that every "i" is dotted and every "t" is crossed. Schools are supposed to be as well, but ehhhh. I am used to sending and receiving prompt emails, having binders and online sites that document specific processes for every single thing, and a 1-800 number to ask anything and everything that crosses my mind. Let's just say that the administration is a sort of "fly by the seat of your pants" type of thing. I needed a hall pass, for example. The kids have to have them to go to the restroom, but one never magically appeared in my mailbox, as I was assured. Since I don't have a classroom, I float, and was already told by one teacher that my kids were not to use hers (wtf not?!) I spent days trying to find the elusive person who must have a closet full of these little red pieces of plastic. During the fourth week, I lucked out and a counselor gave me one that the choir teacher had left back in February of last year. Don't you know I covered that thing with ribbon and stars? It might as well be a diamond necklace for how closely I will hold on to it. Now imagine that every single mundane task has a story like this. You can imagine how much gets done.

In conclusion, I love it and hate it all at once. The fact that this is my first year and I am still getting certified takes over my personal time even more, and I think if time felt more manageable, it would all be good. I have eighty million people from the school and district wanting to have meetings and observations to"support" me, but I think we have crossed the line from support to smothering. My free periods are eaten up by meetings and clusters and I watch my after school time get eaten up as a result. But when I get into third period and one of my students asks me to check my email and I have an email that says "3rd period loves you! -all of 3rd" that one of the boys has sent over his cell phone after I put my email on the whiteboard, then I smile and know I am where I need to be right now.

TJ Hooky

Have I ever told you about my year in kindergarten? The answer is no I haven't because why would it come up, but it is now time to share. When I was in kindergarten, I was positive that my teacher (Ms. Eubanks, you wretched wench) was a witch and far as I can tell she never proved me wrong. Well, as a result of her witchy ways I would pretty much do anything not to attend her classes. My mom found me hiding in the bushes once after the bus had left, I was always not feeling well and either coming into school late or serving as a permanent fixture in the nurse's office. I remember the time she came to retrieve me from the nurse's office with a footlong kitchen knife. Granted, she was coming to let me know the class was carving the pumpkin, but I knew somewhere in her house were kindergartners that she carved on for sheer joy. I had attended all day preschool at the same Catholic school with no problems, so it was all her.

Well, everyone swears that your kids pay you back for the things you do to your parents, and so I figured Dylan would play this card at some point. Tuesday he was sent home with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease (wtf?) and bounced between Jason and the grandmas all week since the school whose carrier monkey babies infected him would not take care of him. I am certain that he has figured out the system and may have possibly ordered samples of the virus on the internet just to get out of school. I didn't watch him at all since I still barely can handle my classes and still don't get the system for subs yet. Anyways, I just want to acknowledge that it is starting and that I hope that Dylan waits to start smoking pot until at least first grade. I know we've got some stuff coming to us, but please not all at once.

One last grudge with Ms. Eubanks, at some point she built a teepee and let two kids a day take their nap in it. I was not a napper, so I would silently lay there. Well, since I didn't actually sleep, she never let me sleep in it, and even started repeating good kids. Whatta skank.

By the way, I had my first student public interaction today. A kid caught me trying on Vans at Journey's in the ghetto mall. I grabbed the size I needed but it was the ugliest print, so I quickly tried to explain that I knew how ugly the shoes I was wearing were. Plus, I couldn't remember his name (though it hit me in the car), so I felt all rude not properly introducing him to Jason and Dylan. I can officially feel like a teacher since hearing "Mrs. Cumberland!" in the mall...

It is all good

Today I went in and it was easier. No awkward feelings all day except when we had a fire drill and I thought, "Interesting, something else has told me what to do about." There was even a fire truck. FYI, you are to grab the roster and usher everyone out. You are not expected to take inventory of the kids while outside though, so take the time to fan your armpits in the 100+ degree heat.

Other than that, I decided to spend my free period grading papers in my mentor's room while she taught. It was a good plan because I found that she didn't have some magical power to fill the mother loving hour and a half, she just had stories of experience that stretched each section out. If only I could fast forward my experience level and have some stories... I guess I will have to be content to straight up make things up

Faking it until I make it

That dream sequence where I am standing in my underwear in front of everyone was repeated ten times yesterday. I know everyone is dying to hear how my first day went, and feeling like I was in front of the class in my underwear pretty much summed it up. Dramatics and self mutilation was all I could think of last night, that and feverish planning so I would presumably have it all together today.

The first class was homeroom which was the poorly planned (not by me) process of distributing paperwork to an insanely large class. If I didn't look like I had no idea what I was doing, the teacher whose classroom I was in (again, I float) made sure to announce to everyone that this was my first day as a teacher. Bye, bye dignity. Bye, bye chances of respect. Hello, half of those kids being in my English classes and the other half knowing people and quickly telling them I was brand new. (insert razor blade into my thigh here)

The thing is that we usually have block scheduling of four classes a day (I have one off period a day) and homeroom once a week. However, yesterday we had the distict pleasure of having homeroom at both the beginning and end of the day sandwiching in all eight classes. It would seem a 20 minute class would make it easy to blow through the period before the kids got a glimpse at the a-1 moron that would be teaching them, but 5th period was an hour-and-a-half to accomodate lunch, so I was stuck with a class that I had 10-15 minutes of stuff prepared for. The kids were a fun batch, but my training has stuck in my head that any downtime these kids get, especially in the very beginning, sets a tone for the year and so I was left with the knowledge that I had effed myself for the entire year. (make another cut in my thigh here). And don't worry, I even managed to look like a moron for the 20 minute classes too (small cut here).

I am sure that yesterday was hardly a blip on the kids' radar and most of the reason that I am super aware of everything is that these are extremely gifted kids who have pretty high expectations. Seth Cohen's that all know that they know more than me. (small cut here). Did I mention that there was pretty much no AC in the mother loving building?!? (that's the part where I cut my thigh from side to side and then make snow angels in the boiling blood).

My thinking all day yesterday was to just make it though it because this would be the worst day of my career because it was the first and I would never feel as lost and as inadequate as I felt that day. And it is true, today was better and involved no self mutilation urges. I went in unflustered and acted like I had a plan (and I had one) and I dove straight into class discussions. Granted, I still have miles to go, but I was able to get the kids to participate in class discussion sometimes with minimal participation on my part and even got them to read some journals out loud. I was so impressed with what I heard and it stirred up that feeling that made me want to teach in the first place. Still, I can hardly wait til vacation time!

Also, Dylan just started his third week back in day care and he still screams like they are putting needles in his eyes when I put him down there. I can usually still here him screaming when I am getting back in my car, which is a great feeling since his classroom is in the back of the school. He even cries when he sees me come to pick him up, like by coming back I have poured salt in the wound created by leaving him in the first place. I am assured that he is fine the rest of the day, but gee whiz!! The school also makes him wear closed toe shoes at all times and despite going and getting him fitted for shoes, I have been all over town returning shoes and switching sizes. After sending back much more expensive shoes, I ended up with the only two shoes that even fit - a $5 pair of Vans sneakers and a $5 pair of Skechers. The Vans are in the pic below, I think he looks very cool and we got quite the deal. He is big on trying to shake everyone's hand right now, hence the outreaching hand...

The kids are coming...

...on Monday and there is nothing I can do to stop them. Here's an update on school: tomorrow is free day for us to get our keys and random stuff settled and then Monday is the real deal. We usually do block scheduling, but on that day we go through all 8 class periods as well as advocacy period. So I can't be too scared because I will only see the kids for 20 minutes there, and there isn't much I can do to look like a moron during that time. A lot of us, especially the new hires, have to float which means we don't have a classroom. I was sad for two minutes until I realized that the teacher whose room you are teaching in has to hang out somewhere else during their free time while you are in there, so essentially they don't get their own space either. I scored a cubicle in the little floater lounge, so really I am better off than those teachers because I have somewhere away from the students to go hide and look at KNK on the sly and students can't get in there. I am glad to have two weeks of power point presentations behind me, and thankfully they reminded us today that the kids already have enough friends and that we shouldn't sexually harrass them.

So that's how my days are going, but how are my nights and weekends you ask? We are in the midst of working on the renovation of the master bed and bath, and this week the dude came and floated and taped the sheetrock in the bathroom (the only thing we stopped doing ourselves) and we went ahead and had him paint all the remaining wood colored trim. Everytime I work on this house, I curse the losers who lived here before and thought it would be timeless to have bars on the windows and pink and teal tile. I was removing the bars today and hoping the prior owners are chained to those bars in hell for eternity. Anyways, to paint the trim the closet contents had to be removed. My shoes all got dumped in the tub which was sitting in the master bedroom waiting to be installed after the sheetrock was completed and our closets are laying all over our bed and Dylan's room. Sadly, we won't have bedroom and closet doors for awhile wither. That wasn't a total party, but here are some pics including the new Peanut Butter bedroom / bath walls and a reminder of what we started with in the bathroom:

Doomsday is here...

Wah, I started work today. No more sitting in my pj's forever. The hotel that today's events were at was so nasty, it was some sort of hotel that is becoming a Crown Plaza but is currently a Skank and Sleep or something. I don't even know if anyone was able to stay there, but there was a stack of about thirty to forty used mattresses stacked on the side of the building that I wish I had my camera for. Oh, to think of the stories that accompany those shady rooms across from the sports stadiums. Lots and lots of renting the rooms by the hour is my guess. I don't need a black light wand to crack that case... taxpayers, rest assured that the local school district is not wasting your money on up to health standards facilities for training.

Anyways, the day was dullerama, but I got to see all the new hires for my high school and saw some peeps I liked. I also discovered that K-1 teachers are insane. Seriously, where do these people come from? The people are either so pure in nature that I have to think they have moonbeams and sunshine running through their veins or they are these clique-ish skanks who think they are so cool for teaching kindergarten and believe they are so awesome and amazing and that everyone else sucks. It gave me the urge to remind them that I needed a lot more college credits to teach Senior IB English as opposed to Beginner Fingerpainting like them, but that just isn't nice. Elementary teacher bloggers, do not hate on me, these girls were mean. I think the moonbeam peeps are cool and while I have nothing in common with them, I can give them a pat on the shoulder and look forward to them teaching Dylan Boo, but the others can rot. Please, elementary teacher bloggers, do not hate on me. It was like being in high school again but having the wisdom to know that these chicks are retarded and who cares. I was thrilled when they separated us by what grades we were teaching and I got to hang out with cynical, attitudinal people of my own caliber. Let the schmack talking commence

Jason's sick and I saw him using a thermometer. We all know the Spongebob one is for anal use, but he grabbed a Dylan armpit one and it was hanging out of his mouth. I got a laugh for that, even though Dylan's armpits are fresh as peaches.

Also, Shannon's questions...

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes, as well as by the lovely female security guard at JC Penney who gave this 15 year old a nice under the bra rub to check for merchandise. Innocent both times, but hilarious to watch my mom go on a "Julia Sugarbaker" on the security people when she found out what they did to this sweet minor child.

2. Do you close your eyes on a roller coaster?
No way, I love to see everything

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Uh, never. What does snow look like? This was our last blizzard a couple Christmas' ago...


4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I will never sleep in the same room as my drunk brother again...ask me about Cancun when he was too drunk to remember he was in a room with my mom and me and got naked on his bed to sleep-on top of the covers (side note- always remove the comforter, you don't know who there last)

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Can't decide.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I do.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Hell yes. But that question is so 15 years ago...

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Tough call. In the Pitt debacle, Jen got screwed, but I like Jolie too. Please don't make me decide, it is like choosing a favorite child, or at least choosing which one to sell to the circus

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report, I am clearly well informed.


10. Do you know how to play poker?
I play tripoli occassionally with the Kellers, but luckily Heather makes cheat sheets so I know what to do to score - yeah, I suck

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
No, we used to call staying up all night "wedging" and by two the next day you were pretty skanky. Especially if it was chemically induced, ugh

12. What's your favorite commercial?
I don't get to watch many because of TiVo, but I like the Huggies commercial where the baby is acting like a bodybuilder. "Stretch!"

13. Who was your first love?
I'm in luv with a stripper...oops, that's a song. I guess real love is Jason.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No because that's when I discover someone was around and now their car is wedged in mine and I am bleeding.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Now if I tell you, that will no longer be true...

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Who cares, bleh sports

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes, Houston Galleria several times, once on a lame-o date

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
All the time. Mine are so graphic that I wake up with headaches from thinking too hard. I had one the other morning where I was in some situation with George Clooney where we were working together and he really was flirting with me hardcore and I was trying to ignore him so I didn't cheat on Jason. I was just starting to crack and DYLAN STARTS CRYING and wakes me up!!!! I will remember this when he is 13 and trying to kiss some girl (or guy, who knows) and I will start screaming at the window to destroy the tender moment.

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
I really need to update my iPod, need to clean up the crap

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes

21. What talent do you wish you had?
I want to have an amazing metabolism (gosh, she eats and eats and never gains weight!) and play the piano masterfully

22. Do you like Sushi?
Not really

23. What do you wear to bed?
Girl boxers and a tank

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
Nah, but I will trash a lot of people with all my might just for the laugh

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
My list is a "who's who" of hot hollywood peeps

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
I am sure with the circles I've traveled that I sure do. My family tree alone will probably get me at least one person...

27. What food do you find disgusting?
When people smoke at the table and ash into their food, I would prefer to puke than stand ten feet from it.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Absolutely. And would still be devestated if they did it to me.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
No.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Eh, maybe in some form.

Where the posts at?

Where has everyone been? Slow posting, girls! I just checked out the boodle blogs and some of you haven't posted since July 3rd (you know who you are, girl!)

Anywho, I will use this opportunity to fulfill some taggings...

from Bre and Shannon:

7 people that I admire
- Jason (he's my duplicate, so it is like self admiration)
- Dylan (he tries something new everyday like it ain't no thing)
- My mom (she has always tried to do the best for us, even if she made some questionable decisions at some times)
- My dad and Jason's dad who we both think of who are our dads and who are actually guys who married our moms, divorced them and then had the balls to stay in our lives by choice, unlike the men who dumped their sperm in our moms and said see ya. That counts as two people
- Jason's little cousin is like ten and she had open heart surgery a couple weeks ago. She recovered awesomely in between playing dressup and being a kid. To think I was pure drama about going to get a TB test a couple weeks ago...
- All my girls. I have had a pretty easy life, all things considered and when I think of what some of my friends have been through, I really admire how they've grown because of those things. People have a choice to repeat those things or thrive despite, and I have picked a lot of girls who choose to thrive. Some of them are repeat offenders, but I think they haven't given up yet

7 things I say often
- Saaaad!!!
- No, Dylan!
- Yay!
- Ugh
- That's effen...
- Really?
- Love you

7 things I cannot do
- play piano, it is next on my things to learn
- stop complaining
- not talk schmack
- listen to Dylan scream
- slow my mind down
- make myself keep a clean home
- learn dance moves

7 things you might not know about me
- I am from Baton Rouge, LA
- I was a Catholic school girl when I lived in LA
- I could eat desserts and carbs all day long
- My real father OD'd in front of me when I was in second grade, rehab did not stick
- I secretly wish I was a teenager and I watch too much MTV and teen movies.
- I spend too much time lurking on myspace
- My dream job would involve me and Jason writing for television in Hollywood or NYC

7 movies I enjoyed
- South Park, Bigger Longer and Uncut
- Seven (I thought it was so clever at the time)
- Goodfellas and Casino (my guinea brat roots)
- American History X
- Josie and the Pussycats
- Kevin Smith movies minus Jersey Girl
- my little one minute home movies of dylan

7 things I wish I could change in my life
- my life is perfect

7 books I have read and would read again
- The Reader by Bernard Schlink
- Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey, though I could never read it again
- Kate Chopin books and stories, love the Louisiana feel
- enjoy the Kay Scarpetta books by Patricia Cornwell
- America the Book by Jon Stewart
- enjoyed the Girlfriends Guide, just started the Toddler one
- anything I have time for

7 people who should do this!
- Jesus, if he isn't busy
- Elvis, if he isn't eating
- yo mama
- Boodles
- someone famous
- someone infamous
- you

And Krystn's:

10 things I would do if I won the lotto:
1. Buy two lots in Memorial and build a house for my mom and Jim on one and ours on the other. We would share a backyard with a huge pool and all a la "Big Love," minus the poligamy
2. Travel like crazy
3. Hire people to cook and clean for me
4. Still drive a Prius, but get another one to replace our Blazer (I'll do that anyway when Big Blue dies)
5. Open a scrap store and hire someone to run it so I could come in and out as I want
6. Have a loft in NYC and in CA for when we felt like it
7. Lipo and tummy tuck and I would keep going back for the lipo because we would eat so well while traveling
8. Have a full photography studio built so I could develop my skills, prolly next to the scrap store so we could do classes there
9. Buy a huge, gorgeous piano and really learn to play it
10.Not tell anyone

Lazy Sunday

Well, the family came over on Sunday - Grandma Shelley and Grandpa Jim, Uncle Bryan and Matthew. Matthew and Dylan are seven months apart, but weigh the same. Matthew is like a bag of flour to carry around. Check it out, Dylan is trying to teach him how bulimia can help him lose weight and feel great:


Uncle Bryan brought Dylan his bday gift which was clothes and PJ's from Old Navy. I really loved Old Navy pj's for kids, and I guess Bryan had a hard time finding the perfect thing. He accidently ended up grabbing a girl's nightgown with flowers and butterflies on it, and was of course mortified. He swore it was for boys, but the little bow on the front finally convinced him of the truth. Jason and I make fun of everything in the world and never worry about it, so of course I put that dress on the kid. It embarrassed Bryan more than Dylan though:


What else, what else? I am making myself sick knowing that I have to start working July 31st. The part that really sucks is that I am pretty much working August for free the way it all happens. The first week is three days of unpaid, mandatory training and the next two will allow us to have the entire week of Thanksgiving off. I will get one paycheck actually in August, it will be a partial and if I am lucky I will be able to cover day care. So this is what working for a government agency is like, sigh. All my dreams falling into place... lotto ticket, anyone? At least I will be getting two weeks of hanging out in the school environment before the kids arrive, have mercy on their souls...

No fair!

I am sure there are thousands of former Enron employees right now pissed that this guy died:

Ken Lay appears to have died of a heart attack at the prospect of actually going to prison. I bet that some of the Enron employees who lost their pensions may hope to die early of heart attacks since he left them high and dry for their retirement years. Anyways, what a wuss. Dying isn't fair here, he should have lived long enough to have all his riches taken from him and be put in his little orange jumpsuit to be sodomized by his bunkmate Bruno when he drops his government issued soap.

On a happier note, I have dedicated July to not purchasing anything scrappy (adhesives do not count, I did need glue) which was kickstarted by a certain site using their own same crummy paper line three times in 18 months. I skipped for the first time and was suddenly free to pursue my stash. To up the ante, I won't let myself shop anywhere either for the rest of the month and it has been surprisingly freeing. I don't have to check out the sales or buy something because I am in the neighborhood, but I am using up the stuff I have around. This was four different lines of paper from el stasho. It has been good, but I hope there is a mucher cooler kit available next month for me to stack up in my cart


Still discovering new things on my camera too. Heather's friend Heather took a pic like this and I asked Heather how she altered it. She said her camera had a function to take the pic like that and I saw through Flickr that it was a Canon so I took a chance that mine could do it - and it could. Check out this color isolation thing, awesome. I am trying to make myself maximize the potential of my camera before I buy another, and it has been a good decision.


Finally in my longest post ever... to Heather's little orangatan coconut baby, here's my onion boy:

I'm on fire

My arm that is. Let me take you back to Saturday morning. Cate had the grand idea that my family, Cate and her fiancee would go pick blueberries out in Hockley (about 45 min- 1hr from here). We drove out and made a nice effort at putting berries in a bucket, Dylan atop Jason's shoulder.

Now this is where things go awry. We were told to go deep into the bushes because people have been picking around the outside and the bushes were getting a bit sparse. Jason reached in an angered Wally Wasp who brought the pain. I look over and Dylan is wavering back and forth as Jason tries to get away. I cry out "The baby..." as I reach to grab him and then I feel Wally's wrath on my arm over and over. Dylan never left Jason's shoulder, but Jason and I got five wasp stings between us, mine resulting in a lovely rash that I keep scratching in between keystrokes. We got 1 lb blueberries and 5 stings, Cate and her fiancee got 7 lbs and no stings. Live the magic yourself:

Dude, where's my pants?

Or better yet, where is your dignity?

I couldn't believe I hadn't already blogged this stunning piece of work, but I present my favorite video prospect from the "Guys Gone Wild" series. I have to be honest, and girls I think that I can get some support on this, but I don't like looking at a guy's junk. It has its purpose, no doubt, but yuck. I think I have a lot of supporters on this, so my conclusion is that the target market is the young gay male population. Enjoy, boys, because there aren't gonna be a lot of female takers on this one!

BTW, I have enabled anonymous comments so any of you lurkers feel free to give a "Hell yeah" to my request that the boys keep the family jewels locked up...

Happy Father's Day

People ask why I want to teach English, and a big part of it is the fact that I get soooo annoyed with people screwing up grammar, using improper forms of a word, etc. How much fun do you think I had when I went to Kroger's to buy food for the Father's Day feasts (BBQ sandwiches, whoo hoo) and saw piles of misspelled cookie cakes? Row after row, these brightly painted montages of sugar and sentiment screamed out "Made for you by idiots." I ponder now on how my father would have felt having paid for my college education only to receive a cake like this...

By the way, LOVE that I took that on my cell and could email it to myself to quickly get it on here. That's technology at its best.

Last night I stayed up until about two in the morning throwing this bad boy together for Jason. I depend on Dylan to serve as an alarm clock, and so I expected to get up today around seven to prepare breakfast in bed (as in go to Jack in the box, get a #15 and place it on a tray next to a flower in a small vase). Guess who woke me up at 9am?! Yes, the tray was handed to my husband in the kitchen since we were all up by the time Dylan was awake, but it is the thought that counts.

Facelifts

Tonight I have set my attention to snazzing up my online presence so I finally put backgrounds on Dylan and my myspace.com pages (Dylan earned himself a 50 cent background because he is so fricken OG) and a little header dealymabogger on the top of this page.

http://www.myspace.com/brandypolitz (aww, how pretty)
http://www.myspace.com/dylcum (the kid gets around)

I had a little fun messing with my camera yesterday, hence the photo at the top. I am determined that I have a good camera (Canon Powershot SD500) even if it isn't the pimp shizzy some people have (Rebel, anyone?), but I really think that I haven't uncovered that power because I just point and shoot pn auto and never mess with settings. The top thing was for giggles (the Mrs. Cumberland plaque was from the gang at the bank, aww nice) and the CBX photo was cool because when you pull up the pic (click on it if you want) you can see every little scratch on the hammer and in the paper. I really got the camera out to take some Father's Day pics of Dylan, but everyone will have to wait until tomorrow for that...

Brandy, you're hired...

Thought I should acknowledge that I got a j-o-b today and so if I pass my test this weekend, I should be receiving a paycheck in August...whoo hoo. How long until they realize their mistake? I imagine I will be teaching a class of Seth Cohen's and they will all be smarter than me

Also, completed a mini album yesterday but took until this morning to get an online representation completed. It's a baby album for my friend who had a shower this weekend that I missed. Got to use up an entire Crate Paper pack - it is about time! Here it is...

Boy wonder Dylan turns one...

Come Wednesday, Dylan will be officially one. I have heard people talk about how is breaks their heart and they cry, but that's just not where I am at. I am grateful that Jason and I have made it a year as parents and that Dylan doesn't look like a Lil Hobo. I am grateful that despite the rotten streak Jason and I have and how rude and obnoxious we can be, that Dylan is the sweetest little boy and will hug and kiss anyone. I know that because he reached out for a busboy at a Mexican restaurant on Sunday. I am grateful that Jason has come to the terms that a child forces you to acknowledge and socialize with the public and that he didn't even try to say anything rotten to the busboy when he felt free to pick up our boy. Anyways, I think he is hilarious, sweet and wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing about him.

Pic is courtesy of Heather, of course. Cutest kid ever.

Memorial Day at Lake Buchanan

Seems like a long time since I've been on here, but we've been going places! Saturday morning we drove out to Lake Buchanan which is about an hour and a half outside of Austin. When we stopped for lunch in Austin I peeked at a LSS that I had visited years ago and was very disappointed. You know how in the beginning of your scrap career a place may have really impressed you and now you wonder who buys that crap? You five years ago bought that crap!! Anywho, didn't buy a single thing in this huge store and it made me sad.

Anyways, Lake Buchanan was fab. Dylan tried pool water Sat night and went from loathing water to disliking it. Okay. Then Jason started his courageous journey to intoxication which always makes my mom and Jim amused (seriously). Jason talks a lot of junk in general and goes back on it, so I have learned not to point that out and argue with him on things, just to let him come around to where I want him to on his own. Like with having a baby, he said he didn't like kids, I knew better and sure enough he likes kids and asked for his own one day- but he got there on his own and as a result doesn't feel less cool for it. He did the same thing with the pool. I have been lobbying for a pool in the backyard for ages and he went on and on about how no one uses them and no one likes them. Then he got in one and said, "Pools are great. It would be nice to have one." Really? The thought never dawned on me...

Anyways, the place was beautiful and they even have little soaps and lotions from Bath and Body Works, so you know it was MTV Cribs stylin. Sunday morning, Andrea and Chad joined us and Mom, Jim, Andrea, Chad, Jason, Dylan and I joined Jim's friends Tom and Lisa on a boat they rented. We rode out to an island and parked to eat and swim. Dylan went from disliking water to laying his head down on his raft and singing to himself, so I guess that is good. Some highlights...


Look really carefully and you can see how that ridiculous burn from Wednesday has turned into a dark brown blotch. Hot. Jason may have been drunk when he tied his shirt up like that and started striking poses. Maybe. Anyways, at the end of the boat ride Jim drove for two minutes and broke the boat, so we had to be towed ashore


We cleaned up and Dylan felt obligated to give Tad CPR in the nude...


Dinner was a mess because all the podunk town had was bars (flash to Reese Witherspoon in "Sweet Home Alabama" - "You've got a baby...in a bar..."). We finally landed at a greasy spoon diner one minute before closing that had two live roosters or chicken or aliens outside. A great weekend, indeed...

Water babies

Dylan and I joined Heather and the kids on a day trip down to Galveston. I had chocolate milk for breakfast, so it put me in the mood to swim in some thick brown sludge. Lucky for me, it turns out Dylan loathes the water and he whimpered/cried every time we got in it. He did like the sand and played in that. Megan, as always, showed Dylan what was up by triumphantly splashing through the water and grinning as she ate it and handfuls of wet sand. Look closely and you will see that Dylan is giving Mother Nature the bird.

Cam had a good time too, between playing in the ocean and being buried by his mama. He looks miserable, doesn't he?

Finally, me and my screaming boy. I would put Heather's family shot, but I should get her permission before I put pics of her hot bod on here...

I got an awesome burn that is all blotchy, like I put sunscreen on poorly. I actually didn't put it on at all (I know.) It looks like angel wings, but that pic will not make it on here as well. Dylan didn't burn thankfully, although in some of our pics you can see the sun reflecting off of his pasty white skin nicely.

Diaper Duty

Saw this on Jason's blog and LOL'd. I think he found this trolling around on Flickr. Dylan's diapers don't usually require such scrutiny, since you can feel his spearheads a lot of the time through his diaper (I think you can figure out why we call them spearheads, yummy). This also reminds me that Dylan pooped on the bathroom rug the other day. He had taken a bath and I sat him down on his towel while I finished drying off. I looked over and he was bent over going "uhhhhhhhh." Mmm good.


Here's me playing catch up with getting all my scrapped stuff onto my blog. I have been working on a Book of Jason/Book of Us and it has been taking forever, so I haven't had a lot else to put on here.



The last one is really cool because it has a mini album under that pic of Will on his throne.